9th member; of Stray Kids x2

Secret Secret

*This scenario happened after Jisung and Suri's break up, when he left the house and Suri was still healing from their relationship.
-

Chan entered the girl's room to ask her about something only to find the room empty, remembering that Seungmin took her for a walk 20 minutes ago. He was about to leave, when he saw her old blue notebook. He furrowed his eyebrows as he walked to pick it up, remembering how Suri told him that she threw it away almost a year ago, but looking through the pages, he found pages that had recent dates. He sat down on her chair, turning the small lap on, looking through the pages, although he knew that he wasn't respecting her privacy, but why would she tell him that she threw the notebook away if she was still using it.

Chan's breath hitched when he came across the newst page, noticing dried out drops realising that it was probably her tears and he felt his heart breaking into pieces.

I can't say anything
Words just linger in my mouth
Sometimes I get scared
Will someone notice?
I shout louder in the sound of rain
I'm afraid all my words will be buried
The sky is getting cloudy

No matter how much Suri tried to seek help, she only found herself shutting up as if the words get stuck, and she only blamed her scared self for not saying anything, only wishing that one of them would notice. Will they ever notice? She found herself screaming, asking for help when no one was around, when no one was around and all her words just being useless. It felt as if her life was only becoming darker, although the sun was shining brightly but her sky was getting cloudy.

Drooping shoulders, wet clothes
Even the loud music seems so quiet
All of my frustrated thoughts
I want to throw it away in this rain, so I take it out

The only thing she truly loved, the only place she wanted to be at forever felt so quiet and lonely. No matter where they were, no matter what music was playing or whatever was going around her, she was just in her own world, her own thoughts, and she wished to just throw it all away.

Pretending to be okay makes me evеn lonelier
Looking at a differеnt place, all alone
I endlessly repeat to draw and erase my worries
Even if I repeat it, nothing will change
Someday you'll get used to it
I will live without even this feeling
It'll be okay if you walk around busy
Like the ground hardens after rain and flowers bloom again

She put on another fake smile, another dry laugh and it only broke her more as if her heart doesn't want to be fixed anymore it only hurt more, made her feel lonelier, sadder. No matter how much she tried, it never changed. She promised herself, that one day she won't be living like this anymore, that her garden will bloom again and she'll be herself again.
-

Chan looked through the notebook trying to find the rest of whatever she was writing but found nothing, he let out a frustrated sigh, wiping the tears falling down his cheek away angrily. He was mad at himself for letting her be like this, mad at her for not asking for help, not saying the truty, but he knew Suri.

She always suffered alone.

He grabbed a pen and found himself looking for an empty page, hesitating for a second, knowing that Suri won't like tha fact that he opened her notebook, but he also didn't know how to face her, or what to even say to her. He didn't want to lose her. He needed her, they needed her. The second his pen touched the paper he heard voices coming from downstairs, causing him to get up quickly, shutting the notebook, walking away from her desk quickly.

"I'll just get my charg- oh my god, Chris you scared me. What are you doing here? In the dark?" Suri opened the lights, looking at the guy confused for a second, but he quickly smiled at her.

"I was actually looking for you." He rushed to stand by the girl pulling her out of the room. "Why don't we hang out? Let's do something fun."

"My charger-"

"You won't even need your phone, let's go. Where do you want to go first?" Chan pulled the girl downstairs, gesturing for Seungmin to follow them. "Its your day, whatever you want. We'll do it for you, lets go."