Ciel [Yoonmin]

40.

Hoseok knocked on the door feeling nauseous. Sick. He waited until he heard Jungkook's steps getting closer to where he was standing.

For a second, his heart stopped. Jungkook opened the door and finally he let his breath go. Holding his breath that long had made him a little light headed. That didn't help with the already nauseating gut feeling.

Jungkook smiled at him sweetly and greeted him with a hug. Something that Hoseok himself did not expect from him.

"Hi Hoseok. Day off?"

He returned the hug and rested his head on his shoulder. His body was warm and smelled like marshmallows. Hoseok took a sniff of his hair and held him tighter to his body. Who knew if this would be the last time they hugged?

"Are you—are you okay?" Jungkook whispered, very concerned. He didn't like when Hoseok was like this. He was always happy, smiling, and loving.

Hoseok was his sun. 

And today it felt like his sun had imploded.

The aura he presented was sad. This made Jungkook anxious. He was the one helping him out of his misery and without his encouragement how would he continue?

Yes, it was very selfish of him to depend so much on Hoseok. At the end of the day, Hoseok was only human.  He was allowed to feel sadness and Jungkook had to keep reminding himself of that.

Finally, Hoseok let go realizing that he had been holding him so tightly. When they met eyes, he looked for a sign of Taehyung's trail.

Jungkook looked scared and extremely concerned. Maybe he was being paranoid and he hadn't even noticed that Taehyung visited. Or maybe he was trying to fool himself and ignoring the signs.

"I'm okay." He finally answered.

If he was honest, he had been scared to come see him. Two nights ago Taehyung had taken him to see Jungkook. Did he know? Was that his reason for taking him along? To prove that he was superior and that he could get him back with a snap of his fingers?

Luckily, Taehyung only asked for a private dance and he maintained himself in the dark. Hoseok stood in the very back afraid Jungkook would recognize him through the darkness.

But Jungkook's eyes were focused on Taehyung's figure. Even in the darkness, his eyes knew where he was. And that was a brutal awakening.

A kick to the back. Jungkook was still in love with Taehyung and he couldn't change that. No matter what he did or said. It wouldn't change his feelings for him. He would always be at the bottom, below Taehyung's presence.

"Come in. You look pale." Jungkook grabbed his hand as he pulled him in.

He motioned him to take a seat on the couch while he went to fix a tea. Minutes later, he approached him again and handed him the mug.

"It's chamomile tea. It'll help with your stomach."

Hoseok smiled as he began pitying himself. Chamomile tea wouldn't fix this and that was the sad truth.

But Jungkook never stopped being sweet, even though Taehyung had made a reappearance. So, he took the tea and took small sips as it warmed him up inside.

Not enough to fill that cold space in his chest. It was the fear of losing Jungkook all over again. It made him sick. A sickness that was unfixable.

They stayed in silence while he finished the tea. It wasn't too sweet nor too bitter. It tasted just fine. Maybe he was being biased because it was made by him.