At Your Service || 𝕝𝕖𝕧𝕚 𝕩 𝕡𝕝𝕦𝕤 𝕤𝕚𝕫𝕖 𝕙𝕚𝕤𝕡𝕒𝕟𝕚𝕔 𝕠𝕔

Chapter Fourteen

CONTENT WARNING: This chapter will discuss serious topics such as depression, graphic depections of injuries and amputation

By mid morning, Hange headed back to the wall to check on the rest of the 104th, while Levi and I stayed at the Trost headquarters.

I sat in the dining hall, blankly staring at the doors, hoping to hear or see Miche coming through. I didn't want to sleep, I didn't want to blink. I didn't want him to be gone. Tears slowly ran down my face as I kept my eyes out for him.

For him to return.

Back to me

"I know you don't like it-" Levi said, breaking the silence

I didn't realize he was with me. I didn't care to pay attention

"- but I could make us some tea. May help you relax"

"No" was all I answered

Levi sighed, looking down

"How about this? We can go up to your room. You can see from a great distance up there" Levi stood up, next to me and touched my shoulder "And if you fall asleep, I'll stay up and keep an eye out"

"Okay" I muttered

I didn't sleep at all, yet Levi still stayed with me.

I couldn't keep my eyes off the courtyard. I had hoped I would hear the bells toll, signaling someone was coming in and that someone being my Miche.

I didn't want him to be dead. I wanted him here with me. Why? Oh why did he have to go?

My chest began to tighten as I thought of what he could have gone through. I couldn't bare. I didn't want to know. Tears no longer fell down my cheeks, I had cried so much that day it was almost as if I had run out.

What a cruel world we lived in. I couldn't bare it.

The whole day seemed as if I was in a fog. The day felt like an eternity yet it was only a few hours by the time nightfall came. I didn't want to get up, I had no motivation to move.

The most important people in my life were all gone: my brother, my father, my mother. And now... my Miche.

Gone. Without any way for me to say goodbye or even an "I'm sorry"

Nothing.

Which is what I soon felt like. My entire body felt hallow, like the things that made me had disappeared. Everything about me, gone. What more did I need to live for exactly?

My entire world was crumbling at my feet.

The sound of the tolling bells began to fill my room, I gasping and bursted towards the window. I looked out into the courtyard, hoping to see my Miche come home, coming home to me.

"Mari" Levi grabbed onto my arm "I hate that I have to say this, but it's not Miche"

I jerked my arm away from him, giving him a scowl full of pure animosity. I knew deep down what he said was true, but I couldn't face it just yet

"Shut up" I gritted my teeth as I spoke

"Mari" Levi fussed "I'm not going to allow you to live in a lie. You have to face the-"

"SHUT UP, LEVI!" I shrieked, covering my ears as my breathing began to tremble

"just..." I sobbed "shut up, please"