note: in no way i mean to discourage the writer in this review. for me, honesty and straightforwardness are basically the best way to point out things.
✿ first impression: title, cover and description (7/15)
title: not so creative or informative. very overused as well. also, remember to capitalise 'love'.
cover: love it! has all the necessary elements and fits the genre.
description: okay, honestly, the description is the type that will make me exit the story for the following reason:
-incoherent: first of all, the convo between jimin and y/n makes no sense. it gives me toxic masculinity vibes. second, y/n's reply is so... dumb? she repeats the same meaning twice with what she says.
-many grammatical mistakes: tense mistakes, punctuation... etc.
-doesn't tell well about the story: if the parents are dead, what makes them think it's y/n? doesn't make sense. no teasing as to why the reader should dive in to know if their clue against y/n is true.
the question before the last is out of context too. why would she want someone who slapped her to love her?
✿ plot (5/20)
the plot was not clear, neither from the description nor the first chapter.
□ in the form you filled, you told me y/n was caught in a webtoon. how would the reader even think of that if you didn't drop hints of it, or make the characters wonder what happened properly? the fantasy theme is not clear in the book.
in all honesty, i didn't understand where the story was going. i read the first few scenes and didn't understand what you wanted to show the reader. the narration didn't flow well and looked messy. sometimes i found myself lost in what you meant. you can't expect the reader to know things you didn't mention or explain. we can't see what you thought of while writing, so explain it to us. the grammar errors also made it hard to understand.
□ the settings were also too vogue. just because you said 2009 olympic scene, it isn't enough for the reader to understand where you're talking about. that place was important as it catapulted the story, so it deserves to be described more.
□ also, the pace was so uneven and faaaast sometimes. in the term of two paragraphs, you said she was in the hospital, got interrogated by police, friends pitied her, and she quitted school. just in two paragraphs? just one paragraph before, she was holding the gun still 😅
□ if she was accused of killing and was the one found to have the gun, wouldn't she be kept under arrest till she is proven innocent? it's clear you don't have enough knowledge about the law and how these things work, so try to research. it's more complicated than you think.
same for y/n changing her passport and such. how could she? who helped her? how did she get the money?
□ we're also not given a clear explanation as to how y/n lived after the accusation. you said she was lonely and weak, but that wasn't enough. where did she stay? how did she fund herself? how did her health change?
□ suddenly in court, we get to know the story is set in india. that got me... confused. i'm not even sure if a korean citizen gets to be imprisoned in a country other than theirs. what brings jimin to india? you need to explain that.
✿ characters (5/20)
i don't know what to say here. there wasn't any characterisation for me to judge tbh.
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Anna's Reviews
Non-Fiction[ closed ] get a detailed review and in-depth analysis from a self-taught literature student. sometimes, i do special reviews while requesting is closed. it doesn't mean you can request too. but hey, maybe i'll take a special request from you if...
