Breaking the rules ✓

36

We really all thought that she would wake up. We were so sure about it.

And now she's gone. My best friend is dead.

I'm packing our things for our flight home. Mason is sitting in bed, staring at the same spot for an hour straight now.
___
"That was the hospital. Ashley died." I was in absolute shock. I couldn't move. I watched Mason let his phone fall and then letting himself fall to the floor.

He didn't show any emotions. The only thing that showed his grief were the tears that streamed down his cheeks. I was there in a second when I really realized what was going on.

What he just told me.
___

He hasn't said a word in this hour. He just watches me pack up the suitcases and prepare everything for us going back to New York.

I have already called everyone for the yet to be ready and that we will be here in about an hour.
After everything is done, I get on the bed and lay on top of him as good as I can with my belly.

My head is against his chest, my arms wrapped around his torso and his are on the small of my back, holding me tight to his shaking body.

"We have to go, okay?" I ask him as I slowly get up again. And just as I was about to pick up our heavy suitcases, Mason kissed the back of my head and then got them downstairs for me and into the car.

The car ride was just as silent as the other moments before we left the villa. The same thing was with the whole flight and the ride home. Not one single word.

He just carried our things up into the apartment and told me that he would take a shower.

And I did hear the shower running. Until I heard glass shattering. I was up the stairs and in the bathroom so fast that I almost didn't believe it myself.

He stood in front of a broken mirror, hands all bloody. Just standing there. His breathing so fast that you may think that he is hyperventilating.

I got down to the floor and picked up the pieces from the floor when he got down next to me and tried to get the pieces out of my hand. "Stop it." He says. "Stop it, Delilah." He says again. Delilah. I don't remember the last time he called me that. I don't like it.

I didn't react. Just please take a shower and wash that blood off, Mason. Please just let me do it. "I said fucking stop!" He shouted at me. I flinch away in shock and look down at the floor, tears already stinging and threatening to come out.

He never shouted at me before. I would have normally shouted back at him and told him to not do that but I just wasn't strong enough to do so. I am so exhausted. So I just start crying, hoping he wouldn't notice.

I think he also realized that he has never done this before and is shocked himself. He puts a hand on my back but removes it immediately when he notices me flinching again.

"I. I'm sorry, angel. I didn't mean to shout. I'm sorry." Mason pulls me into his lap and tells me he's sorry over and over again. "It's okay."
I want to be strong for him right now. It just seems to be so difficult right now.
_____

Ben called me and told me he would be on his way here to see him. They really need each other right now. He didn't ring the bell but texted me when he was in front of the door.

"Hey, little one." And for the first time, I let someone see that I'm not okay. So he pulls me into a warm hug. Ben and Ashley also had a great relationship with each other. She was like his second little sister to him.

"I'm so, so sorry Delilah." "Can you go look for him, please?" I walk Ben up to our bedroom where he is sitting in his bed and stares down at both of his bandaged hands.

Ben slowly walks into the room and straight to him. And as soon as Mason is in my brothers embrace, he breaks down. He bawls his eyes out, he breaks.

"I'm so sorry, Mason." "It should have been me. All of this is my fault, Ben." He just said that?

They don't know that I am leaning against the wall outside of the room, listening to everything they say.
Listening to my fiancé telling my brother that it should have been him.

And I can't take this. So I run downstairs, grab any car key and get down into the parking garage. Pushing the button on the key, looking which car it is, I walk over to the Audi and drive away as soon as I am in the car.

I drive fourty minutes to their apartment. I don't know what to do when I see her. But I still get out of the car, ring the doorbell and wait for the door to open.

And not even a minute later, Emily is standing in the doorway, a crying mess. And she even cries more when she sees it's me. "Come here." I say and hold my arms open for her to walk into them.

And she does. She hugs me so close. "I'm sorry, Em."
"I'm sorry too." Walking her into her apartment, I move her red hair out of her face and let her sit down on the sofa.

She told me that Trey is at her parents house. That she needs to be alone. So I leave her after one drink and after she calmed down at least a little bit.

The car ride home was fucking scary. I think I have never witnessed such a rain storm ever since I have my drivers license.

"Where the fuck where you?" Mason asks me as he sits on the sofa, looking at me in the hallway. "I was at Emily's place. Sorry I didn't tell you." He just stretched his arms out and let me lay besides him. He looks so exhausted. "I was scared for you." He says. I'm scared for you, Mason.

_______

I'm so sorry...