Home for Horny Monsters - Book Five

Risky Business

The walk back to the cabin took less than an hour, and Mike let out a sigh of relief when he saw it in the distance. Bigfoot had them utilizing tree portals to shorten their journey, with the owl always hopping through at the last second. The ominous creatures of the woods had watched them when they left the cave, and many followed them toward their destination, but a few were left behind with each jump. He assumed it was part of the treaty they had established with the owl, who had acted as both an interpreter and mediator.

It was a fairly simple agreement. If the Nirumbi and the other creatures agreed to peace with the occupants of the cabin, as well as each other, then they could stay. The owl would act as their leader instead of the current Caretaker, whoever that may be.

However, this agreement hinged largely on getting rid of Leeds. The owl had assured them that her magic was more than capable of trapping him, and that it would be a simple matter of pushing him past his own boundary. Mike doubted it would be that easy. If history was any indicator, he was in for a rough night.

He took the morning to sleep. Between sex with Dana and his near-death experience, he had been fairly energized all night. Upon seeing the cabin, his feet had started to drag through the snow and he stumbled. Quetzalli and Yuki had held his arms until they walked inside, and he had promptly gone to his room and fallen into a deep slumber.

At first, he dreamed in images. Instead of landing in the Dreamscape, he saw the events of the last few days as they flitted through his mind like photographs in a flipbook. Darkness came and then went, and when he finally awoke, he was alone.

Puzzled by the silence, he moved to get out of bed and nearly fell when his foot caught on something heavy under the covers.

"Ow!" The lump in his bed shifted and Kisa appeared, rubbing at her face. "That really fucking hurt!"

"What are you doing here?" he asked, then looked around. He was still in the cabin. "Is this a dream?"

"Maybe." Kisa slapped her cheeks and winced. "I must have fallen asleep in the sitting room. This feels pretty real, though. Hey, listen! You need to get home right away! The Three Horsemen of the Apocalypse trapped us in another dimension, and Beth is—"

"Wait, what? The Apocalypse?"

Kisa scowled at him and grabbed his face with her hands. The pads on her fingertips were soft, but her grip was borderline menacing. "Shut up for a second and just listen!"

She explained it all. An angel had spirited them away and locked them up in a world made of mist. Apparently, Beth was acting as Death's lawyer, and now was playing board games in the front yard against War, Famine and Pestilence for the fate of all mankind.

He wasn't certain yet that this wasn't a dream.

"Oh, and something in the house has been attacking us," she finished. "Knocking us out, one by one. Tink was put to sleep a couple days back, and she still hasn't woken up. Cecilia got knocked out, and so did one of the fairies. Oh, and Beth got cloned by primordial ooze, so now there's two of her, kind of. It's time you wrap up your vacation and come home!"

Mike took a deep breath through his nose, doing his best to lower his blood pressure. If everything Kisa had said was true, they were all in danger and there was nothing he could do. He wasn't even sure what to do with the knowledge that there were now two of Beth.

"It's hardly been a vacation, here. C'mon." He slid out of bed and noticed that he was still fully dressed from last night. At least he wouldn't be walking through this dream in his underwear. Those were the worst! "Let's try and figure out what our current situation is while I tell you what's going on in Oregon."