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I woke up the next morning and looked around the room. I saw Pansy with a glass of water standing over Isla, oh no, she looked at me and gestured me to stay quiet and she slowly tipped the glass over water I laughed to myself. Isla gasped awake as the water hit her face "WHAT THE FUCK!" Pansy and I started laughing and couldn't stop it made our stomachs hurt. Isla smacked Pansy in the forehead which made me laugh even more, Isla also started laughing so all three of us couldn't breathe when we finally stopped. We got dressed and headed down to breakfast still giggling about earlier. 

We got to the dining room and the boys were already up, "Finally," Draco said. "What are you three laughing about?" Blaise asked, "Oh nothing," Pansy replied. "If it's "nothing" you can tell us then," Mattheo chipped in, "Na I don't think we will," I said with a smirk, Mattheo raised his eyebrow and I sat down beside him, Pansy and Isla sat opposite from me. Mattheo put his hand on my thigh and gripped it tight, I smiled to myself then started dishing myself up some breakfast. 

We finished breakfast then all talked for a bit, "y/n," Lucius came in, "The Dark Lord requests your presence in the meeting room," he left without another word and I looked at Isla with a worried look, she looked worried too. I stood up and went to the meeting room. 

I knocked on the doors and they swung open, I lightly flinched at this and walked in and they closed behind me. Voldemort was sitting at the opposite end of the long table, "My Lord you asked for me?", "Yes I did," Voldemort started, "y/n, your parents are very loyal and close servants of mine, and I hope one day you will live up to their high standards," he paused. "That is why I gave you this task. There is no easy way of saying this but, if for whatever reason you fail me, I will have to kill you." My heart stopped and my breathing got heavy, I struggled to get my words out of my mouth. "I assure you my Dark Lord, I will not fail you." My eyes started to well up, I fought it. "Then I have no doubts, I know you will be just as loyal as your parents," I nodded then turned and left the room.

I couldn't fail, especially now, I went up to my room to try and calm down. I sat on my bed and I couldn't help it, my eyes started to well up again and get that stinging feeling, I silently cried on my bed, I let it all out. It had been so long since I cried. So long since I had felt the feeling of everything being lost. I put my face in my hands and continued to cry. I lifted my head up and reached to my bedside table and grabbed my lighter. I started to play with it, watching the flickering flame dance. So fragile. So peaceful. Not a care in the world. My door opened and I looked away from the flame with tears still streaming down my face, it was Mattheo. He shut the door behind him and sat down beside me on my bed. I rested my head on his shoulder and he wrapped his arms around me, just holding me, without saying a word. 

I put my lighter down, "Mattheo.." I said. "Yes y/n," he replied softly, "If I fail... he's going to kill me," More tears streamed down my face and my voice became shaky. I buried my face in his chest, and hugged him, he hugged me back comforting me. "I won't let that happen," he said softly and kissed my head. I hugged him tighter. 

Was this what it felt like to love? 

Was this what it felt like to truly care about someone?

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