schlatt (+lunch club) : babysitter

thirty one +

"oh.. jambo." i yawn, "good morning."
the little kitty meows at me and starts massaging the sheet covers as i scratch my head.
"it's a little early to be making bread, jim jam."

"he's a hard worker, don't knock his craft." schlatt says as he walks over to my bedside.

"good morning. you're up early." i smile and lie on my side to see him better.
"i wanted to catch you before connor wakes up.." he kneels down on the carpet so our faces are level. just being up this close to him makes me giggle, "what are you doing?"
"checking how ugly you are. it's bad news. eugh."

"hey!"
he chuckles and tilts his head to match mine.

"i wonder if i could style your hair." i comb it with my fingers and he rests his cheek on the mattress.
"you can keep playing with it like that." he says, humming with content and closing his eyes.

i smile at him for a minute before moving closer and gently pressing my lips to his. i don't stop stroking his hair, but he seems far more occupied by the kiss now. i bring my hand to his cheek and kiss him more and more as he starts to inch onto the bed. eventually we're both at up, kissing crossed legged on the bed like a high school couple. "i feel like i'm 16 again..."
"we must've been very different in high school." he chuckles as i kiss his neck.

"god.. what cologne do you wear?" i say, always impressed by how good he smells.
"i dunno, just deodorant? it's this cedar stuff my mom got me."
"she has good taste. mm!" i lift the collar of his hoodie and sniff it.
"stop being jambo. he does this exact thing."

"wait wait look." i lift his hoodie from the bottom and he raises his eyebrows.
"are you-"
"hold on.." i slip underneath and put my arms through the sleeves before popping out of the collar.

"hello."
"hello."

"this hoodie is huge."
"i like them baggy. and this one is stretchy."
i smile down at our hands as i interlock our fingers. "you're so warm. how are you so warm."
"my sister says i got a fast metabolism."
"you're like a heaty bear." i slip my hands out of the sleeves and wrap them around his waist.
"a heaty bear?" he chuckles.
"yeah the ones you put in the microw-"

"i'm making pancakes! where are you guys??" connor calls from the kitchen.

"oh!" i jump and quickly pull myself out of the hoodie, causing schlatt to fall backwards onto the carpet.

"ouch.." he lifts the hood off.
"oh i'm sorry! oh, oh!" i gasp and cover my mouth, slowly coming down to his side, "are you alright?"
"no .." he pretends to cry.
"oh are you actually crying."
he sniffs dramatically and flops onto me, "you KILLED me!"
"you'll be okay." i pat his head, "come on."
"well ... you gotta go first. then me. then we don't look suspicious."
"sus."
he looks at me like he's about to murder me.
"imposter."
"go!" he shoves me forward and i laugh.

"wait!" i gasp.
"what?" he looks back at me and i kiss him one more time.
"okay now i'm good." and i run off to the kitchen.

"morning conar." i plop myself down beside him at the breakfast bar and he mumbles a reply through his mouthful.
"schlatt up yet?" i ask, trying to be chill.
"must be. he wasn't in his bed when i woke up."
"huh. i wonder where he is."

i watch as schlatt tip toes behind connor, climbs up the banister and walks loudly down the stairs.

"morning fellas. well-"
"grab some pancakes!" connor points excitedly at the little stack he prepared by the hob.
"just like ma used to make." schlatt nods happily and grabs some.

"oh could you quickly show me how to get into your computer?"
"cant we do that later? the passwor-"
i raise my eyebrows at him.
"oh- sure, absolutely." his cheeks go pink and he stands up awkwardly.
"shes-"
"it's just a thing to do with that org i was talking about."
"ohh i get ya." connor nods and dives back into his food.

"shh.." i hush him as we kiss up against the wall of his streaming room.
"mm.." he gets louder to annoy me. and it works.
"he's gonna hear us!!"
he kisses me deeply and presses me tight against the wall, "not if i keep you quiet like that."
"two can play at that game." i return it even harder and he brings his hands up into my hair.

"alright .. we need to stop. he's gonna know something's up." i laugh breathlessly.
"oh but we don't have to." he says in a higher, whiny tone.
"you head back there and i'll pretend i'm working on more stuff in here for a couple seconds. go on!" i shove him to the door.
"one more k-"
"off you go!"

"look it's miss stingy." schlatt huffs.
"i swear, you guys are just always fighting randomly." connor shakes his head.

"hello?"
connor and schlatt stop munching on pancakes abruptly as i pick up the phone.
"ted! hey!"
"hey y/n how's it going?"
"good! good! these guys are great roomies. connor's cooked us pancakes."
"pancakes! boy, save me some!"
"well, no-"

"i'm not sure if schlatt's told you but we're heading to the game grumps studio in a couple days for our podcast and we wondered if you might wanna come take a trip down memory lane? we could go to that beach we used to hang at, it'd be fun. plus, our chuckle fans kinda love you and it'd be great to have you on the podcast."

"that sounds amazing! god, yeah you live there now! that's gotta suck."
"hey!"
"i'd love to come see you guys."
schlatt pipes up with a mouth full of pancakes, "oh is that chuckle week?"
i nod and smile.

"so is that a yes?"
"of course!"
"awesome! and you can meet my girlfriend shae! you guys would get along great. i'm so excited!"
"i'll talk to charlie too and we can all arrange and airbnb!"
schlatt shakes his head, "no, no airbnbs!"
"i'll make a group chat for it! it's gonna be great!"
"that's amazing, thank you guys! see you then!"
"see ya!"

"what was all that?" connor asks.
"oh you know chuckle week?" schlatt gestures with his fork.
"yeah?"
"i think .. y/ns coming now?"
"yeah ted wants me on chuckle sandwich too!"
"permanently?"
"no, no just a guest!" i smile.

"this is gonna be so fun." schlatt returns my grin and shoves another slice of pancake in his mouth.

"can i react to your episode for content?"
"of course connor. you can always use me for content." i pat his shoulder meaningfully.