We the Weirdos

Chapter Thirty-Two

"Why haven't I seen any cool creatures yet?" Lysander whined over the video call we had the day after he left.

"Maybe because all you've done the last twenty-four hours is sleeping and riding a plane for countless hours." I reminded him.

"Oh, right!" He exclaimed, "I remember now!"

"About time," I muttered, "Congratulations," I said to him, "You're a genius," I remarked sarcastically.

He didn't get sarcasm, so he said, "Aw, thanks! That's what my pre-k teacher said, too."

He had a crappy pre-k teacher.

I sighed loudly.

"I guess my pre-k teacher's the only one that thinks I'm a genius..." He frowned.

Hey, at least I was being truthful. His pre-k teacher? Not so much.

"I hope I see some elephants here soon," He sighed, quieter than mine.

"Where are you again?" I asked, confused. Do elephants belong in Brazil anyway?

"Brazil. I think that's in Europe."

"You mean South America?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"Yeah. That's what I meant." He corrected himself.

Suuuuuuuuure.

"What type of elephant?" I questioned.

"The Antarctic elephant." He replied, shrugging his shoulders.

"You mean the African elephant?" I asked.

"Yeah. That's close enough to what I said." He argued.

Whatever.

"Lysander, you can't find the African elephant in Brazil," I told him.
"I can't?" He asked himself in disappointment.

"Africa and Brazil and thousands and thousands of miles away from each other! And why in the world would you want to meet an elephant?" I asked. "Them big. And them can step on you." I paused. "Actually, I like them. Ask them if they could step on you and squish you for me. Thanks."

"I guess I had the wrong place..." He genuinely looked disappointed. I guess he really wanted to meet an elephant.

"How's it going?" I asked to fill the stretching silence.

"Eh," He said, "Well, nothing's really 'going' because all that I've seen here is the crappy shack my dad owns and the airport. Plus some grey seats because I remember sitting in some taxi thing."

Seriously? 'Taxi thing?'

"Sorry, the president's calling me. Talk to you later." He hung up before I had a chance to reply.

Pretty sure the president calling Lysander was a regular thing.

Sighing, I got up and tried to do something productive like trying to finish the eighth season of Criminal Minds. Before you do it, don't judge.

Instead, I wasted my time and did homework.

Stupid, terrible, annoying homework.

Looking at the huge to-do list, I sat down at my desk.

I didn't get any sleep that night.
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"Hello, class!" The teacher said enthusiastically, "I have some good news."

Teacher code: Good news = probably pop quiz.

This is very logical because a teacher's good news is a student's bad news. It just works like that.