Banana Crescencio (ViPe Series #2)

Chapter Nineteen

Victoria

No terms.

I mean, I can't explain what I am feeling right now in words. Tinititigan ko lang ang kasama ko ngayon dito sa loob ng office ko habang kinakabahan at pinapakiramdaman ang puso kong malapit ng lumabas sa dibdib ko.

Si Banana, siya ang kasama ko ngayon. She's here with me right now dahil kasama nila Lila na dumating dito with Sisa, ang alaga niyang aso.

Feels like my heart and mind are now contradicting each other.

Not sure what to do and not sure what to say. So, I am not sure what decision I will make. I needed to think.

This happened because Jade and Lila strike me with a certainty that I never think about. Yes, Banana maybe likes me, pero gaano katagal? She can find another woman. More pretty than me, mas matalino, sexy or sa girl na walang anak at hindi single Mom. Halata rin naman kasi na malapit sa kung kahit kanino ang babaeng ito.

Kaya hanggang kailan ang ginagawang ito ni Banana?

Minsan pa nga, I heard some students talking about Banana. Kung wala siyang pakialam sa paligid niya, she wouldn't know na maraming may gustong lapitan siya at maraming gustong makilala siya. Hindi lang talaga magawa ng ibang students kasi halata sa kaniya na hindi siya interested sa kahit kanino. Kahit nga makipag usap sa mga kaklase niya ay hindi niya magawa ng hindi napipilitan.

I even once heard from students that she's off-limits because she has the apple of the eye na raw and mention my name. The question is, how did they know about this? Sinabi ba ni Banana sa kanila?

Hindi ko naisip that the idea will be this mess up. Even my feelings are now messed up. Those words from Jade and Lila stab me.

And so, Banana didn't say anything. That adds fuel and confusion and pain for me. She didn't argue with Jade or defend her feelings or just say that it isn't true.

And now, my friends leave or they are giving time for us to talk. Siguro nakaramdam sila or nagkataon lang na may gagawin sila sandali kaya lumabas ng office ko at iwan kami. I didn't mean to feel this way.

I know I am frightened, I am affected by those words. My jealousy towards her friends, Alex and Alicia. At how she makes Ashlyn love her and how she makes my daughter so happy. Hindi dapat ito ang pinoproblema ko ngayon e. Hindi dapat sumabay ang nararamdaman kong ito.

But I am now in a situation where I am trapped.

Banana makes me feel everything. Some kind of emotion I never knew that existing. I may be hard sometimes, or maybe grumpy in front of her. I still feel happy when I saw her, smiling playfully. Sadyang mas nangingibabaw 'yong inis ko because of her.

Those weird heartbeats na sobrang bilis kahit marinig lang ang pangalan niya kay Ashlyn or sa mga friends ko.

I deny my feelings when I know that there is something. Something na nabubuo para sa kaniya. I tried denying it but getting jealous of Alex when I saw them is a failure. Hindi ko naitago ang nararamdaman ko.

Now, I want to be honest. Lalo na sa sarili ko.

I know that I like her, the first time she made my daughter smile? She already got my heart. She does. Every single day. I fall, deeply. She got my heart daughters, hindi ko maitanggi na pati ako nakuha niya dahil kay Ashlyn.

Hindi ko pa alam noong una kasi mas naiinis ako sa kakulitan niya. Hindi ko pinansin kasi nga she's a girl but this is the truth. I just deny everything.

But then, I was still confused about her feelings for me but now she admits it. She confesses it to me and asks to court me.

I don't know what to say. What should I say ba? Lagi na lang ba akong mauubusan ng sasabihin pagdating sa kaniya?