(Various fellows joined the chat)
REVALI: I'm writing a book
DARUK: Books suck
URBOSA: Reading is good for the mind
DARUK: But every time I try to read a book it catches fire
REVALI: That's cuz u live by a volcano dumbo
DARUK: Im not dumb Ravioli
(Link changed Revali's name to Ravioli)
RAVIOLI: Give me a break already!
MIPHA: So what's this book about?
LINK: Yeah I was thinking about beating Revali up after he caused us to miss the first anniversary of the Group Chat, but maybe I won't beat him up if his book is interesting
DARUK: wtf link that's a long sentence for a group chat story
ZELDA: Daruk's right. So whats the book about
REVALI: It's called "Ravioli Club", written by Revali of the Rito
ZELDA: Cool but what's it about
DARUK: Can Chef Daruk use it to cook Ravioli?
RAVIOLI: No its not about that kind of Ravioli. It's about the Group Chat, and it is a story about my criticisms of the group chat
RAVIOLI: The book goes deep into my thoughts and feelings about you all and the way you've treated me in this past year.
RAVIOLI: And the last five chapters explain my huge plan I went through to make you guys miss the 1st anniversary of the Group Chat
RAVIOLI: But this book itself is about the first year of the Group Chat, from my perspective. Why Is it called Ravioli Club you ask? Because throughout the book I reference my hurt feelings after being called Ravioli time and time again
DARUK: That was deep
URBOSA: Revali's literature skills suck. This book is gonna fail
RAVIOLI: I just published the book 5 minutes ago actually
MIPHA: Hang on I'm looking at the news on the sheikah slate, and "Ravioli Club" is currently the #1 trending book in Hyrule!
RAVIOLI: I know you're all impressed
LINK: I'm buying this book right now-
RAVIOLI: Thanks bro!
LINK: -to see how much it sucks
MIPHA: Link thats mean
ZELDA: To be fair Revali does use proper grammer in the chat. Most people these day talk in texting language like r u and stuff like that
LINK: Okay I just 'borrowed' a copy of the book from the library. Chapter 1: The Beginning of the Group Chat, Revali's perspective
MIPHA: Ooo interesting
LINK: "Today Hyrule began a tech revolution. Sheikah Slates are being mass produced so everyone has them now, and people are going crazy about the chat feature. Today this freaky mystical guy named Anonymous Weirdo started this Champions Group Chat thing, and I think its changed my life"
URBOSA: This is getting good. I'm gonna buy myself a copy
LINK: Come on guys! It's not that good! Anyways "The chat was interesting. The weird dude revealed we might die in the future if we don't participate in the chat. So I have to use the chat feature for the sake of my own life now. This sucks. Everyone hates my nasty attitude and I've recieved the nickname 'Ravioli'. I do not like this nickname"
RAVIOLI: That's the best line in the story
MIPHA: Keep reading Link!
LINK: I just yeeted the book into Death Mountain
MIPHA: Aw I think we were getting to a good part of the story!
RAVIOLI: Well we can I see how Link feels about my book. Maybe in the sequel I'll go deeper into the rivalry between Link and I.
DARUK: Well its gettin late, see you tomorrow everyone!
(People left the chat)
YOU ARE READING
BotW Champions Group Chat
FanfictionJoin the cast of Breath of the Wild/Age of Calamity as they fight each other, roast each other, make memes and references, discuss ships, and declare wars. (Extreme cringe warning) This was inspired by other breath of the wild Champion Group Chat st...
