COMPLETED
Penn State University.
Home to the craziest sorority girls, most obnoxious football players, and a possible Vice President's son.
Sloane Beck wants nothing more than to have her cheating ex-boyfriend crawl back to her.
Blake Day wants not...
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Sloane Beck
Treatment.
I had to get treatment.
After losing our baby, I had to go to treatment. I was going to be able to escape the food demon by myself—however if anything treatment just brought up a whole load of new triggers for me.
Like for example—I didn't have any friends there. I was constantly stuck with the idea of what he was doing, or how would he react if I was able to save the baby.
Finally breaking down to one of the nurses there at the facility, I had been convinced to know that I hadn't received an abortion—even if the nurse and my sister had told me that. I actually received a D and C.
I would stare at blank walls all day every day, gaining more weight as time went on. But none of that would be pregnancy weight—it would be weight that felt dense. A weight that I had felt like had no right to be on my body because it wasn't serving any purpose.
I can't even tell you how many times I cried wishing how I should've just been selfish—I wished that I should've taken the damn Plan B.
As if Blake Day's words hadn't left me enough trauma—now I had to live with the fact that I wasn't even able to carry our child to full term because I was starving myself.
I was killing myself to look better but in the end, I ended up killing my child because of my own selfish regards.
What else went along with the trauma of losing a child and having to go back to treatment?
The conversation I had on the ride home from my first round of treatment.
"Where's Charlie? He was supposed to pick me up from the airport?" I asked, my bags behind me dragging. Approaching my fathers—they gave me a small smile. It was faint and tiny- but no hugs were exchanged.
I almost died—I was starving myself alive and they didn't even want to hug me?
