Broken Without You (COMPLETED)

Chapter 69

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Dear Diary

I am so scared right now

Everything happening around me is giving the hell negative vibes and I am unable to take it

Though I have chosen the option of love, the horrifying feeling called fear is tormenting me again

Fear..it's something that kills me again and again

It's nothing but a small size death to me

And I don't want this feeling

I don't want to get scared

Because Abu said when we are scared we are pulled from life and until and unless we free ourselves from the fearful past we won't experience love

And I am truly making efforts to get rid off of the things that pulls me back to the past

Because I want to experience love

I want to experience the beauty of life

Life is offering so many wonderful things to me...I want to enjoy all those things to my heart content

But then again whatever is happening right now is scaring me so much

Sona did so much to make my birthday super special

I can't write in words how I felt that day...and even if I put it in words it would be nothing

But to make everything possible she got hurt and that clenched my heart

And how can I forget Maa-Baba...they think I don't know anything but I know that every year they go to orphanage and old age home...offer  them a meal and donate clothes, books, saplings and money to the trusts

Maa visits the temple and does Abhishekam in my name and offers food and clothes to the beggars

As usual in the early morning, I got their messages and at the office, I had a delicious meal sent by Maa

I wish they both could have been with me at the birthday celebration but Baba was feeling a bit tired so it couldn't happen

I missed them a lot...

Especially Baba...when I saw all those pictures my heart screamed to hug him tight and cry his arms like a baby...

Champ wanted to weep on your shoulder Baba

Your champ missed you

We just have a communication gap but the love is still strong as ever...hai na Baba??

It was the best birthday ever

Though it was a super-duper happy day it was the most scariest too

When there was no information about her for the whole day, I felt like my life has come to an end

And Baba's health intensified my fear to the next level...

The day before my birthday when Sona was busy with the preparation I got a call from Baba's Doctor...I visited him and he informed me about Baba's monthly health reports

Nowadays, Baba is not doing well...he already had an angioplasty and now there are constant Bp fluctuations too

I was scared to death...