Hey all. First off i would like to apologize to you all for not uploading before now but with St Patrick's day and kids off school it has been crazy. However, I spent the entire day writing yesterday so i could upload today for you all. I'm going to try my hardest to catch up by the end of the week so please just bare with me.
All my love Mel xoxo
The next morning I awoke covered in a cold sweat as Flashbacks of the previous night came down heavy on me. With my heart racing I began to panic at the thought of being in bed with Joshua. Torn between my panic and by the desperation of the position I was in right now it was like I had awakened to my nightmare.
Taking in some deep and calming breaths I slowly stretched my leg to my right in hope that nothing was there and that Joshua hadn’t taken advantage of my mental breakdown last night and stayed. To the worse of my fears I felt something and leaped up screaming but instead of seeing a sleeping Joshua as I expected, I saw a startled sleepy Elle. My heart felt as if it was going to bust right out of my chest right there and then followed by every other organ in my body. Surely all of this stress wasn’t good for me let alone my poor baby. Standing up on my trembling legs. I stood trying to steady not only my legs but my heart as well. Then from out of nowhere Lisa came running in my bedroom with a knife in hand screaming. I jumped back onto my bed screaming whilst covering my body with my quilt for protection.
Elle was laughing as per usual. Seriously I think this girl has got a screw loose or something because why the hell would you be laughing while one of our best friends comes running at us with a knife screaming like a lethal manic. A manic that had just escaped from some mental hospital!
“What the hell?” I screamed still barricading myself under the safety of my quilt. “I heard you screaming and after what happened last night I thought Jaxon had gotten in and was trying to kill you or something worse. Damn you screamed like some banshee” Lisa shouted sounding pissed but relieved at the same time. Feeling safer now knowing she wasn’t about to stab me anytime soon, I peeked my head up over my quilt. Elle was sitting up still laughing her head off, thankfully though Lisa was no longer holding the knife. Relief flowed through me but at the same time anger replaced my relief.
“What the hell? What do you mean or worse? Damn Lisa I would be dead. And why would Jaxon be in my bedroom of all places?” I didn’t really know why I was asking her this but before I could take my words back they were out there and now Lisa and Elle were both staring at me as if I had gone mad or something. Then again who would blame them right now? Feeling emotionally unstable I lowered my face into my hands and began to cry.
After I had told them everything that had happened last night they both hugged me and congratulated me for finally giving Jaxon what he deserved. Apparently Joshua had filled them in on Jaxon’s visit but that was all he had said well expect the part that I had beaten the crap out of him. Then they told me how Joshua had stayed with me until they had arrived home. Then they shocked me even more when they told me how they found Joshua just sitting on my bed staring at me.
They tried telling me how stupid I am for not giving Joshua a chance not that I needed them to tell me that but I had enough things going on in my crazy assed life right now and there was still the fact of Jaxon. However, I didn’t feel any better by what I had done to Jaxon last night. If anything I felt worse. Why did I do that? Why couldn’t I have just heard him out first? Damn now I will never know what he wanted! But then again do I want to know? I asked myself whilst answering with a big fat YES! I wanted to know if he missed me. I wanted to hear him grovelling for me to get back with him but then again, would I want to go back to him? I knew I should be saying no but deep down I didn’t think I would’ve turned him away. Hell who am I trying to kid. I would’ve jumped into his arms in just knowing that my baby would have its daddy.
The girls had just gone out to get some food leaving me alone lone in the house since I woke up. I sat there thinking whether or not I should reply to one of Jaxon’s texts. Then as if my mind was made up for me, I realised I couldn’t reply even if I wanted to because I had deleted all of his texts. Even down to the one I had received from him last night. The one telling me he was coming over. Damn why do I always have to act so irrational when I panic. Maybe I needed to start thinking before I reacted in the future. Leaving out a heavy sigh I made my way upstairs for a nice peaceful soak in the bath in hope that would stop me overthinking everything.
Later that night after taking a nap Lisa came into my room to talk about Joshua and Jaxon and as much as I wanted to tell her what was going on, I couldn’t, because I didn’t even know the answer to that question myself. All day all I could think of was why Jaxon had even came over in the first place. Then Joshua came to mind and although I was grateful of the distraction of Jaxon, Joshua had bedded himself deep into my head.
Yes Joshua was a cocky arrogant git but the way he had bothered to stay and look after me last night let me see that there was another side, a softer side to him. Not that he didn’t have me hooked lined and anchored already. Now though I wanted him more than ever but at the same time I still wanted Jaxon. Don’t ask me why because he was nothing but a two timing lying jerk who I had loved unconditionally, well I thought I had loved. That was up until I met Joshua that is not that I loved him or anything but he made me feel. Wrapped in his arms I felt as if that was where I was meant to be. It just felt so right, perfect even. However, it wasn’t the perfect timing otherwise I would’ve given in to my crazy hormones as well as given in to him. I guess it was just down to the fact that I was carrying Jaxon’s baby that was stopping me. Then again that could be the only reason why I still felt for Jaxon.
Saying that Jaxon didn’t even know I was pregnant so why was I still drawn to him? Then again Joshua didn’t know that I was pregnant either. What would Joshua think if I told him that I was pregnant? Guess he would be running for the hills. On that saddened thought my stomach sunk as well as something in my chest. I was so mixed up but at the same time I couldn’t stop my mind from wondering what it would feel like to be courageously touched by Joshua. Picturing his large hands and his long thick fingers caressing and fumbling me had my entire body hot and needy. I had to do something to distract myself. Looking over at my desk filled with papers and books I left out a heavy sigh. I had so much to do between studying for my exams then graduation and on top of that find a job and a home for my baby and me.
“Oh God please help me. I’m so mixed up and confused. Please help me somehow I don’t think I will be able to do all this on my own.” Not being able to hold myself together any longer I left it all out. This time I didn’t blame my emotional breakdown on my pregnancy hormones as I usual would. No, this was all me and in admitting to myself that I might not be able to cope with all this on my own.
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Dumped and Pregnant (#Wattys2015)completed
ChickLitIsabella finds out that the man she thought she was going to spend the rest of her life with, had not only dumped her to marry another but also to find out she is pregnant with his child. Isabella is in her final year in college and if life wasn't a...
