Finding myself

Chapter 101

Stilhts POV

Everything had gone as planned. The spy delivered the poison to Zara and she had taken it.

For the past few days, I had watched as my master writhe in pain. Go through ups and downs because of her singular existence. I needed to get rid of her. I needed him back like he used to be.

How could he not see that she would betray him?

As soon as he heard the news about her collapsing he had called me to his office. He knew it was me. He made sure she was safe through his spy before unleashing his cold fury on me.

"How dare you betray me?" He had whispered, his calm rage was more terrifying than anything.

"How could you betray me like this?" He asked.

"I was trying to protect you if anything from that immature girl." I spat the words out as if it were a vile taste in my mouth.

"How could you not see how far you have been led astray? You have the clans to protect. And she is far from being a capable queen candidate." I said and before I knew it, his knife, the one he carried around with him always had whizzed past a few inched from my face and stabbed the wall behind.

My eyes widened as I felt liquid dripping down the side of my cheek. It had been a while... Since I had bled.

It was like my master had known I would betray him. Like he was waiting for me to do so. He squeezed the bridge of his nose as he asked the guards to arrest me. I followed them wordlessly without a fight.

The head guard looked at me with pity. I wasn't sad about being arrested, but I was frustrated that she hadn't died. I thought the relationship she had with the alpha king wouldn't be strong enough to save her. Apparently, I was wrong. I hoped my master could see it. Understand its implications.

She was bad for the vampires and she was a bad influence on my master as well. I had to get rid of her. I had no choice. It was for the good of the clan. Sage, Scott, and Sean as well watched me with a glare as I passed them.

They could glare all they want. I just hoped that girl wouldn't prove my theories right and break their trust in her. Hell Sam even visited her every day at the hospital. He hid just by the window. And I knew for a fact that Sage, Sean, and Scott had done it too at least once or twice the past few days.

I could hear them fuss around Sam asking about the girl. So concerned. My expression darkened. Why couldn't they see how bad she was for the clans? And the said Sage was supposed to be the smartest of us all. That girl had built herself a soft corner in all of their hearts.

That thought brought me no joy as the heavy oak doors slammed shut behind me, silencing their voices.

...........

Blaze POV

I rubbed my head as I sat out in the hallways. People piled past me, they all went in to see her and the back out. I was losing count now. For the first few days, I wouldn't let anyone near her. But the doctors said hearing their voices might be good for her. Reassuring.

Because she was in a coma. She hadn't woken up in days. I hadn't seen her bright amber eyes look at me with challenge in days now.

To say I was concerned would be an understatement.

Stacey was currently inside reading her a book, hoping the tone of her voice would soothe her.

When I had carried her in, the doctors and the other alphas had to force me out of the room. I only left after I made sure the doctors tending to her were female. I couldn't leave her in the hands of male doctors. I find trust them enough. Thankfully this is the reason why put pack had more female medics and healers.

They resuscitated her and pumped out the poison from her stomach. They couldn't even identify what kind of poison it was. That has delayed the treatment further, much to my impatience.

For now, I didn't want to think he she even got access to something like this.

I rubbed my temples again agitated.

Her parents had tried talking to me, forcing me to eat. I ate but just barely enough to see functioning. I held her hand throughout the night. But I couldn't stay by her side during day time. I could bear to watch my energetic mate in that state.

Besides, I doubted mine would be one of the reassuring voices that she needed to hear in the first place.

During this time, Zonn had taken care of the pack business. As the alpha who usually does it in the king's stead- Dex was also ill-disposed. Something told me he was only too eager for the role.

I knew if Zara died on that bed, I would follow suit. Even if our bond wasn't strong enough to force me to death. I couldn't bear the thought of living without her. Of losing her. I don't care f I have to give her up to someone else. As long as I could see her happy or even know she was happy somewhere. At this point, even Xavier who was broken by all the events agreed with me. We were ready to just let her go. But not to die. We would die with her. Without question.

What puzzled the doctors was that apparently the poison wasn't wolfsbane and it affected the human half instead of the wolf. It tore all their bonds with their wolf and pack to their mate. She was essentially completely lonely, stuck in her own mind.

Finally, I was excited as I heard she had opened her eyes. But the eyes that stared back into mine weren't my mate's but the cold ones of her wolf. She just lay there unmoving, uninspired to even blink.

I had asked her if Zara was alright and she told me she was in a dark corner of their mind that even she couldn't reach.

I was shocked at that. She told me it felt like Zara didn't even want to wake up. That thought pained me. Her wolf wasn't awfully talkative and we just sat in uncomfortable silence most of the time. Her movements were unfamiliar and robot-like, nothing like the fluid grace of my mate. She just wore Zara's face and that was it. Her wolf was so cold. She just sat up ate, used the facilities, and went back to sleep. She didn't talk much. Or do much. I couldn't read her at all. I was glad she had awoken though. At least this way she was being fed properly instead of relying on the pumps and tubes. It had looked painful.

Something told me Zian was terrified of losing Zara too. She just didn't trust us enough to share her emotions.

Everyone was devastated by the situation, the gang, her parents. Especially Zarine. She had been such a constant presence in our lives that we felt like we were missing a huge chunk of her quiet energy.

Days passed again. The alphas' farewell ceremony date came and went. But no one complained. Everyone wanted to respect their luna. That thought was reliving.

I cried a lot during this time. Relying on Dex and Athelia and my betas a lot to pull me out of it. I didn't know what to do with her. How to help her. And me not ever getting a chance was a real possibility now.

My repetitive routine these past few days were getting to me.

Finally, one day she shook herself awake for one of her meals. And I knew the eyes staring back up at me were my mate's.

It was still the nonchalant expression of her wolf. The differences were so slight. So minute, but I could sense them. Our bond coming back alive and her thoughts flowed into mine. I immediately engulfed her into a hug, tears of relief flowing down my face.