"It's funny how they can negotiate peace in time of war, yet they can negotiate war in time of peace." - R. G. Berry
It is a troubling thing to do. Picking your future at the age of 16. Although, it did not feel that way for Calypso Matthews, the on...
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"Anger is useful only to a certain point. After that, it becomes rage, and rage will make you careless."
- Lauren Oliver, Pandemonium
"Where is that?" I asked myself while looking at the screen that was showing the events happening inside Jeanine's head. It was showing her worst fears, the things that were so hidden, they were all the color grey. "Her worst fear is a building?" Edgar questioned sarcastically, I ignored his comment and kept my eyes glued on the screen.
The screen slightly glitched and now Jeanine stood inside the building, waiting patiently. She looked severely then how she did now, I even took a glance at her now to make sure I was seeing her right. Her hair was more messy on the screen and her eyes looked tired as she stood by the broken side of the building. It almost looked like she was contemplating on jumping off that open side, she even took a glance and saw that never ending darkness going down.
"Jeanine?" A sweet voice called her, she turned her head and noticed the dark shadow that stood by the door holding a basket of some sort. "Thalassa." Jeanine responded with such a cold voice, the shadow came out from the dark and I saw those grey clothes.
"Mom?" I breathe out finally seeing her face, her real face. My heart raced in joy seeing her and knowing one day I would be able to see her over the wall with my father, I just knew they had to be alive. "It's her, it's really her." I said feeling my eyes slightly tear up and I felt Four grab my hand gently. "That means she's still alive. She's with my father." I said to him and kept watching the screen.
"Is that it?" She asked her, my real mother nodded then showed the basket to Jeanine, there in that old worn out basket was a baby sleeping soundly. "She looks like him." Jeanine pointed out to her, my mother nodded and set the basket down. "I can't take care of her...I didn't have the heart to leave her with a Factionless." My mother said and my heart slowly calmed down as I listened to their conversation. "I told you already, I don't want it." She said to my mother and she nodded understanding.
"Please, Jeanine. If you take her, I'll disappear, you'll never see or hear from me again...Just take her." My mother explained to her as she walked towards her, Jeanine took a step to the side and looked at her with such disgust. "Do you love him?" Jeanine questioned, my mother took in a breath and swallowed. "Yes." I watched as my mother looked at Jeanine and I could feel the intensity all the way here in this moment. "Why don't you just leave with your child and Helios? I want no part of this." Jeanine questioned as she pointed to the basket with me in it. "The pregnancy was accidental...I never wanted a child." My mother said with tearful eyes, as she said that, a knot built up in my throat.
"I already have to take care of my other child. He's barely turning one, I can't raise her." My mother said, my brows furrowed and I glanced at Jeanine who slightly twitched in her sleep. "That is not my problem, Thalassa. You decided to do this again, but with a different married man, so deal with the consequences." Jeanine argued and was about to walk away. "Jeanine!" My mother called, she stopped dead in her tracks then slowly turned to look at her. "I really do love Helios, but his love for her and you is far more stronger than ours." She explained then crossed her arms as the wind blew.
"I beg you...Please, please take her." My mother pleaded to her, Jeanine sighed then looked again at the basket where I was sleeping quietly. Jeanine picked me up from the basket and I slightly fussed, but it was like I fit perfectly into her arms, that I remained asleep. "I can't bear children like you. I never can." Jeanine said with a low voice, my mother looked at her empathetically and she took a step towards my mother. "She's...Beautiful." Jeanine said with tearful eyes and a small smile.
My mother lightly smiled and watched as Jeanine carried me towards her, lightly shaking me to comfort me during my sleep. I dropped Four's hand and crossed my arms to grip my biceps, this was a different Jeanine than the one I knew now. Evelyn and the rest were also watching what was happening, but the look from Evelyn's face showed confusion.
"Helios will go after you...If you go over the wall." Jeanine pointed out and my mother shook her head. "He knows not to follow me. I promise he won't." My mother reassured her and Jeanine just looked at her as the wind blew again, she took another step towards her and my heart began to race. "Then you don't know Helios at all. He would go to the ends of the earth just to find you...If I am to raise her, he has to be here." Jeanine pointed out, my mother looked at her confused and cleared her throat. "I told you, I'll leave with my son and you will never hear from us again." She said to Jeanine as she uncrossed her arms.
"Sorry, Thalassa but that is a risk I am not willing to take." Jeanine said taking another step closer to her. "But I am willing to leave the city." My mother said lowering her voice since it broke mid sentence.
Before I knew it, Jeanine pushed my mother back out the broken building and my eyes widened. "No!" I screamed putting my hands on the glass and my heart felt like it sunk down. Jeanine looked down at my mother as she tried desperately to grab onto anything instead of falling into that dark nothingness. Four grabbed my arm gently and I shook my head as I watched this horror scene.
The simulation ends with Jeanine just looking down at her falling and I dropped to my knees feeling my breath hitched. Four held me from behind and tossed his gun to the side while holding me. Sweat built up on my face and I felt another panic attack settling in, but I refused to let it come.
I could hear Jeanine waking up and I swallowed back the sob that wanted to escape, I was more than just angry now and I did not know how to work with it. "Breathe, Cal. Breathe." Four whispered to me, I barely noticed I was holding my breath and I let out exhale then covered my face with my hands.
"I told you. You didn't want to do this." Jeanine said to me, I removed Four's arms from around me and stood up quickly. A scream escaped my lips and I ran towards her tackling her down, she grunted falling on her back, so I straddled her then pulled my batons out to form an X on her neck. She looked at me with wide eyes and I blinked away the tears that tried to rush down my face.
"You killed her..." I said, she lightly nodded and I let out another frustrated scream then threw my batons to the side and removed myself from her. I backed up crawling towards the wall and tried to breathe in, but my whole body shook from what I witnessed. It was my fault though, I asked for this, all of this. "It was the only way." Jeanine said, I rolled my eyes then looked at her. "Whatever sympathy I had for you...That's all gone now." I said, she stared at me and Four picked up my batons from the floor.
"Calypso." She said, I shook my head then stood up from the floor. Four handed me my batons and I took them from his hands to put them back in my holder. "They will kill me." She pointed out, I let out a sigh wiping the tear that managed to escape and bite my upper lip frustratedly. "No, they won't. You don't deserve to be let off that easily." I said to her then began to walk away. "Wait, Calypso!" She called with a shaky voice, I did my best to keep my composure and exit the room with Four following.
As I walked out the room, I see the bodies on the ground and closed my eyes for a moment. I knew there would be a consequence to all of this, but I didn't have the heart to see it all in this moment.
Instead, I opened my eyes and pushed ahead to leave the building.
