FOURTY - FIVE

5.2K 216 38
                                    

Luna sighed, picking at her nails as she shifted her weight for what felt like the millionth time in the past ten minutes

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.

Luna sighed, picking at her nails as she shifted her weight for what felt like the millionth time in the past ten minutes. She'd been stuck on guard duty all day and, after she and Carl woke up late, had forgotten to bring a book. Her morning wasn't that bad, as Carl had came and sat with her for a few hours before his own guard shift, but ever since lunch she'd been alone and exceedingly bored. While he was all the way on the other side of Alexandria, Judy was being watched by Tara, but Luna couldn't help wish their roles for the day had been switched. Guard duty was never fun, but by the time the sun began to set Luna was feeling downright miserable.

Rick and Michonne were still out looking for guns and though Luna had hoped to see them drive through the gates, by the time Rosita finally came to relive her of her post, they hadn't returned. Luna's fingers tapped impatiently against the side of the rifle that was slung over her chest, though they stopped once Rosita's head came into view.

"Whole lotta nothing today." Luna said, holding out the rifle as Rosita stood straight on the platform. "Not a walker or anything."

"Looks like I'm in for a helluva night, then." Rosita sighed, taking the rifle. "No sign of Rick and Michonne."

"Nope." Luna glanced back down the road one more time, hoping to see the van. She didn't, however, and sighed again before stepping down onto the ladder. "Night Rosita."

"Night Luna." Rosita nodded at Luna as she adjusted the strap of the rifle. Luna hurriedly climbed down the ladder before making her way as quickly as she could up the street without looking like she had somewhere to be. Soon enough, she was standing on Tara's doorstep. Through the glass pane, she could see Tara and Judy sitting on the living room floor. She quickly pulled the door open, making Tara jump.

"Oh, hey." Tara smiled lightly, though the smile didn't reach her eyes. "I didn't realize it was that late already."

"How was she today?" Luna asked, walking in and sinking to her knees next to Judith. Judith immediately noticed Luna, standing up on slightly wobbly legs before practically throwing herself into Luna's lap. Luna and Tara both laughed, Luna catching her and readjusting Judy in her arms. "Hi baby." She smiled down at the girl.

"She was great, like always." Tara nodded, refocusing Luna's attention. "She's an angel, really."

"I know, right?" Luna gushed. "She's rarely ever fussy, and she sleeps through the night every night. It's so nice."

"Yeah, I kinda forgot you two had her." Tara said. Luna raised an eyebrow, but Tara didn't notice as she was too busy staring out the window. She seemed out of it, and deep in thought, so Luna figured it was time to make her leave. After a quick goodbye, Luna carried Judy on her hip down the street and back into her and Carl's house. She knew he'd be out late, so she got to work on Judy's dinner first before making her and Carl's. The rest of her evening was spent reading and spending time with Judy until it was time to put her to bed.

Luna had expected Carl to be home by the time she got back downstairs, but he wasn't. It confused her a little, but she figured whoever was replacing him must've just been late and she got to work on making their dinner. Finally, nearly half an hour later, Carl came through the door. Luna was half asleep at the kitchen table, her head leaned against her hand.

"Lu?" Carl's soft voice made her sit up, blinking her eyes a few times before he came into view. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." She nodded, sitting up. "I was just waiting for you. I made some soup, it's on the stove still. You might wanna heat it up, though." He nodded, moving over towards the stove. She stretched her arms over her head as she yawned before standing up and joining him. "How was your day?"

"Fine." He shrugged. "Yours?"

"Boring." She groaned, leaning against the counter next to the stove. "After you left I thought I might die of boredom." Carl chuckled, shaking his head lightly.

"You're ridiculous, you know that?" He asked. She rolled her eyes, unable to help the small smile that came to her face.

"Yeah, you don't let me forget it." She said lightly. They fell quiet as they dished up their food, moved back to the table, and began to eat. One thought kept piercing at Luna's mind, causing her to break the silence. "So..." She started.

"So..." He mimicked. "What's up?"

"I..." She sighed. "I wanna talk about it." The mood immediately shifted, and she noticed Carl tense up, just like he had yesterday.

"I don't." His voice was short, and his eye was now aimed at the table.

"Then will you at least tell me why?" She asked. Carl huffed, dropping his spoon and shoving away from the table. Annoyed, she followed him into the living room. "Carl will you just talk to me? Please?"

"I don't wanna talk about this, I already told you that." He said, still not looking at her. His whole body had tensed up, and his arms were tight across his chest. "What's so hard to understand about that?" A tight frown made it's way onto Luna's face as she crossed the room, stopping a few feet in front of him with her hands on her hips.

"How am I supposed to understand if you won't give me an explanation?" She questioned. He huffed, and she caught him rolling his eye. "God, will you just fucking grow up and talk to me?" He scoffed, but again didn't say anything. Anger turned to desperation in Luna's mind quickly. "Carl, please." Still nothing. "Just tell me so I can understand." Nothing. "I don't get why me asking about having kids-"

"I said I don't wanna talk about it!" Luna couldn't help but jump at how loud Carl's voice was, but she quickly shook that off.

"Will you lower your voice?" She hissed. "Your sister is asleep upstairs and I just got her to bed!" Carl scoffed again. "Maybe I'd stop bringing it up if you just gave me a fucking reason, Carl."

"Think, for one fucking second, about why I wouldn't want that." The venom in his voice surprised her. She wasn't sure if she'd ever heard him talk like this to anyone, and she knew she'd never heard him talk like this to her. "One second." She thought, but just like the past day that she'd been wracking her brain, nothing came to mind.

"I've got nothing." She sighed, exasperatedly throwing her hands out. "Nothing. So will you just tell me, please?"

"Think about Judith." He said, his eye now fixed to the wall. "What it took to bring her into this world." It only took a split second for a wall of realization to come crashing down on Luna.

"Carl..." Her voice was barely above a whisper. She couldn't believe how stupid she'd been, how she didn't realize what had upset him so much sooner. "I..." Carl's eye was shining with tears, though she could see he was doing everything he could not to cry. His jaw was clenched tight, and his hands now clutched onto his arms as hard as they could.

"I can't lose you." Despite his best efforts, his voice still broke with emotion. "Not like that." Now barely above a whisper, he'd given up on hiding the sadness from his voice. She took a step toward him before hesitating. She'd caused this, it was her fault he was so upset. She wasn't sure if comforting him was the best option. However, as soon as the first sob left his mouth, she abandoned that thought and wrapped her arms tightly around him. Immediately his arms were around her, and sobs began to take over his body as he buried his head in her shoulder. "I can't let you die like that." He cried. "I won't. I can't."

NOT DEAD YET | C. GRIMESWhere stories live. Discover now