i surely miss you

54 5 4
                                    

can i go back and tell you to forgive yourself

can i see you smile once more

and though i'm trying my best from falling too deep

i know i can't save myself from the fall

and peacefully i descend

to the pits of the afterworld

will i see your smile again

will you let me hold you

or shall you swat my hand away

and fawn over your misery

crumble down the walls that hold you in there

i know you can, should i lend a hand

will you let me?

i know you are there listening

i can see your eyes graze at the back of my neck

you hate me don't you

you loathe my existence

and how dependent you are on it

doesn't it feel so gray

it feels like the static white noise

sounds like the erratic heartbeat

the sweaty palms of a busy child

waiting to finish its little project

so it can present the amazing otherworldly creation

that is under construction right below its shaky hands

i know your smile from a decade ago

had you ever let your cheeks rest my dear

weren't you ever so lively

even on a dull day

no it wasn't blinding

it was a soft glow

too faint to be noticed

but it felt like it would never fade

oh how i wish it didn't

but it did

and i'm happy that happened

i know the grief finally surfaced

you can see it now can't you

the ghouls, they are here

surprisingly they don't wanna harm you

their presence is radiant

however radiantly dark

they are engulfed in smoky films of light

the wait is finally over, they purr

i know your heart is trembling isn't it

oh i can assure you you need not fret

now that you finally are able to see them

its not as dangerous facing them as it would be hiding from them

you're here right

see you are here you havent retreated

although your limbs feel too frail to support you

and your voice is  crumbling

i can see you take it on

with a heart so brave

i wonder if you see yourself how i see you

right now you have the face of a person ready to fight

although your spirit is cracking

that is beautiful

as beautiful as being alive

precisely, having a reason to be alive

i miss you and your frail heart

frail enough to offer love

frail enough to follow what your heart spoke of

frail enough to care to trust

frail indeed

i miss you and although you are right here

i will maybe miss your frail heart for eternity 

and the love you harbored for everything

I'm fashionably late to loving myselfWhere stories live. Discover now