Chapter 42

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"I see you are packing now."

Ryujin turns to the voice and sees the same bald woman from before, still in a red and yellow robe.

"Guru Jae, good morning." Ryujin bows.

Guru Jae did the same. "Time flies when you're learning, hmm?"

"I know." Ryujin glances at what she's packing, which is essentially just her wallet, her robes, and her red rope bracelet. "I'm thinking of extending my stay." She turns to the guru. "Do you think I can extend my stay?"

Guru Jae raises her brows. "But you've already spent three full weeks here. What is it in the outside world that prevents you from going back there?"

Ryujin looks at her ring finger and touches it with her thumb. "People that I hurt. People that I betrayed."

"And you think extending your stay would change the situation between you and those people?"

"No. But I don't know how to face them yet. I'm scared of facing them."

"I see." Guru Jae places her hands behind her back. "It seems you are still living in the past, Ryujin."

Ryujin follows with her eyes as the guru walks around the room.

"Have you forgotten? It's not about what you've done. It's about what remains to be done," Guru Jae says. "We shouldn't judge anyone--even ourselves--based on past actions. What we should look for is what we are doing about it. Are you doing anything about it?"

"I... I haven't." Ryujin shakes her head. "I have yet to apologize to them."

"Hmm. Good start."

"But what if they won't accept my apology, Guru Jae? What if three weeks isn't enough to heal the pain I've caused them?"

The woman smirks. "Now you're living in the future."

Ryujin brings a hand to her nape. "Oh. I'm sorry."

"The past is already gone. The future is yet to happen. There's nothing you can do about the past. The future is something you are molding today," Guru Jae says. "Stop wasting your time worrying about the things you can't control--either the past or the future. Focus your efforts on what you can control--and that is today, the here and now."

"The here and now..." Ryujin repeats.

"It doesn't matter if you committed a crime yesterday. That was yesterday. You are a different person today." guru Jae points at Ryujin. "The question is, are you still going to commit the same mistake in the present time? Because if you do, then your future will depend on that."

"I understand. It's just that I think I need more time to get more courage to face them."

"That's where the problem is coming from." Guru Jae stops in her tracks. "The majority of the people in this world think they have time." She looks at Ryujin. "Always, always remember how our life is so fragile, Ryujin. We could be here today, talking this minute, and then we might be gone the next second. So, stop procrastinating. Don't make your past an excuse for your inaction. Don't delay because you think you know the future either. Do. It. Now."

Do it now.

The words reverberate in Ryujin's mind.

"And keep in mind the separation of tasks," the guru reminds. "It is your task to ask for forgiveness for those whom you've wronged. But forgiving you is their task, not yours. You should not worry about that. What's important is you've done your part."

Ryujin nods, feeling a new hope building inside her. She bows. "Thank you so much for letting me stay here and for teaching me all those things. It has helped me a lot mentally in the past three weeks."

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