Through My Window

Original Edition: 55. The Birthday

THE BIRTHDAY

55

RAQUEL

I love you...

It is so easy to say, yet so difficult to express through actions.

Why?

Because we tend to be selfish by nature, some more than others, we want what is best for us, what benefits us, we have been taught to put ourselves before others, that if we do not love ourselves we can't love someone else. And in that respect it can become true, how much you love yourself can be reflected in your ability to love others. However, there are times when we have to put aside what we feel for the welfare of the other person, and that to me is true love.

I know what Ares needs, what he really wants for his future, and I am supporting him one hundred percent, although I can't deny that I am terrified of the idea of separating, of losing him. Just imagining it makes my chest tighten and my stomach feel funny, but I love him, and because I love him is that I have to put aside what I feel for him for his happiness.

How fucked up love is.

I stare at the letter in my hands. I have been successfully accepted to the University of North Carolina on a partial scholarship to study psychology.

I'm very happy, I can't deny it, this is what I've always wanted and there shouldn't be anything to overshadow it. The only problem is that I want to share my happiness with Ares, and I know he will be happy for me, but I also know that this only makes it more real that we will go our separate ways when this school year is over.

It's a bittersweet feeling, but I guess that's life.

"That's not the reaction I expected," Dani comments, stretching out on my bed. "They accepted you, you idiot!"

I smile.

"I don't know, I still can't believe it."

She sits down, snatching the letter from my hand, and reads it.

"And with a partial scholarship? This is a miracle, because you don't have any talent." I give her a murderous look.

"I told you that winning interstate chess tournaments would do some good."

Dani sighs.

"I still don't know how you're so good at chess, your IQ is...," I raise an eyebrow. "It's apparently good enough to get a scholarship, YEY!"

I put the letter on the nightstand and get up, as the sun streaming through the window falls on Rocky, who is asleep on his back with his paws in the air and his tongue out. He is definitely my doggy reincarnation.

Dani glances at it, concerned.

"Is he all right? He looks like he's dead."

"He's fine, he has weird sleeping poses."

Dani bursts out laughing.

"Just like his owner."

Dani spent the night with me because today is...

"Happy birthday to you!," my mother comes in with a tray of breakfast, smiling broadly at us. "Go back to bed, Raquel, or else breakfast in bed becomes meaningless."

I smile back.

"Yes, ma'am."

I return to Dani's side, who is still sitting with her black hair all over the sides of her face and her makeup dripping. Last night we drank a little at our pre-birthday sleepover, which ended in both of us crying over the Hidalgos; me, because I got the acceptance letter and would be moving away from Ares, and her, because I don't know what the fuck is wrong between her and Apolo; she loves him, then she doesn't, she wants get over him, but she can't.