Random 3 A.M. Writings

Him And Me

After opening the can, the insides fizzed and the bubble rises. I immediately chugged it.

"Hey . . ." the person beside me spoke. "You seemed off when I called you earlier. Something's wrong."

I place down the can and look turned to my right. I did not expect him to find me here in the middle of the night.

"You always say that," I said, tossing the empty can.

"Because it's true."

"You think so?"

"I wouldn't be certain if you won't tell me what is it."

"Fine!" I huffed. He's always like this! Trapping me at a corner where I couldn't escape.

"How was your sleep?"

"Shit as usual. Another shitty thought popped in my head."

"And what is that?"

I place the empty can beside my foot and stomp it and did a three-point shot in the trash bin near us. "Self-esteem. Low."

I could feel his eyes on me from my peripheral view. He adjusted to his seat and place his left leg on the bench we're sitting on.

"Wanna share about it?" He asked as he placed his elbows around the backrest and rested his face on it, looking ready to listen to some story.

The moment he said that, my eyes started to water. This man! I hate it when his company is comforting sometimes. It makes me want to open up to him.

When earlier, it was just mere tears, I was already bawling my eyes out. "And here I thought I'd end this say as a good one!" I shouted, releasing every emotion stored inside my frustrating heart. "But reality just slapped me with the fact that there's never a good day for me . . . because it's me!"

"There's nothing wrong with you."

"There is!" I retorted. "You may not see it from how I see it. You just . . . don't understand what others are feeling right now . . . "

I could feel my heart throbbing loudly in my chest. Instead of feeling lighter, I feel like I'm about to burst!

I stood up to walk away from the bench and him, but he grabbed my hand that made my body face him. Without wasting any second, he engulfed me with a hug

"I understood where you're coming from," he whispered. "Maybe not fully as everyone has their circumstances, but . . ."

He tightened his arms around me. "Life will fuck anyone up at any given moment because it's life."

I already know that, you prick! You don't have to smudge the reality all over my face!

"I know, but it still hurts!" I said in a muffled voice and closed my eyes as I feel his warmth.

"I know . . ." He said in a hushed tone. "Life for you today is just shittier than usual. I'm sure you'll be fine if it doesn't seem like that now."

I stayed quiet. Will I be really fine? I highly doubt it.

"Not really," he admitted. See? "But it does get better. Like me, it's been years and I'm still stuck in the past a bit, but I've made progress, and your problems might now even last several years."

"Now, let me go," I told him, finally realizing the position we are in. One might mistake us as a couple or something, and our relationship is far from that. We're just too comfortable with each other that skinship is normal for us.

We sat down on the bench again. I was hugging my legs as it started to get chilly all of a sudden. But this prick beside me is not feeling it because he brought a jacket that he didn't bother to lend me. What a gentleman!

My eyes landed on a sign. It was 'Happiness' written in a calligraphy style. Pfft. Speaking of happiness . . .

"I thought the 'happiness' I felt was genuine. Looking back at it, I'm not too sure anymore."

"Well, happiness is a broad and wide concept. Many things are mistaken as happiness"

Surprised, I look at the man beside me. Did he read my mind or something?

Without looking back at me, he said, "You blurted that out loud. I did not read your mind or something. I'm no psychic."

I rolled my eyes at him and avert my eyes somewhere else.

"Lots of things are also mistaken for others," he continued, "Which is I guess goes to show how wide the world is. It might feel like happiness is fleeting, maybe it was never there, but I'm sure happiness exists. You don't know how you've fallen if you've never been in the clouds after all."