Starboy

Chapter 57: Valentine's Day

Brandy

One thing that they leave out in books and movies is that breaking up is really, really hard to do. I never really knew what to expect from a breakup by watching movies growing up, but I didn't know how much they left out. It isn't just a piece of you missing — it's so much more. It's the wondering what you did or didn't do and the wondering if life will ever be the same again. 

I never considered myself a romantic girl. I've never fallen in love until recently, therefore I didn't know what it took to be a romantic. I never thought I would dwell on my relationship and actually hope that Benji would come running down the street with a boom box over his head in the pouring rain. In real life, big romantic gestures rarely happen. When two people make up, it usually happens over a long talk and not through a big kiss.

I hate cinema for getting my hopes up.

Valentine's Day was supposed to go different than this. I was supposed to be living with Benji and sneaking out early to pick us up some heavenly coffee. We were supposed to have dinner at some special restaurant and watch movies on the couch until we fall asleep. Instead, here I am, alone, in class.

"I want you all to answer the questions on page thirty-six for next class," Becca announces. "These questions are much tougher than the others so please work hard. I will not tolerate slack. Class dismissed."

Everyone gets up and I keep my head down, feeling too low to talk to anybody. "Miss Bright," Becca calls on me as I'm about to leave. "Come here," she instructs and I feel obligated to listen. "You didn't raise your hand once this class," she noticed. "I have a feeling something is on your mind?"

I sigh and tuck my hands into my pockets. "I, uh, I broke up with Benji," I tell her.

"When was this?"

"A month ago," I say.

"Hmm," she thinks.

"You must be happy," I say. "Everyone else is."

She raises an eyebrow. "Why would I be happy?"

"You told me more than once that he was a distraction," I remind her. "You, just like everyone else, thinks he's bad news. My dad, my friends — they're over the moon."

"Miss Bright," she sighs. "In my book, a distraction is only a distraction when it affects your learning ability," she says. "Since breaking up with Benji, you seem more distracted than usual."

"What are you saying?" I ask.

"I'm saying... you need to do what you must to get back to where you used to be," she says.

"And where was I before?"

"On top," she smiles. "You were my top student, Brandy, and now you're sinking to the bottom. I'm worried that your academics are struggling because your heart is hurting."

"So you're saying that I should get back together with him?" I try to understand.

"No, I'm saying you need to put all of that aside and focus on yourself. If you feel that getting back together is right for you, then you do that. Just don't be one of those people that jeopardizes your schoolwork for a relationship."

"I'm doing my best," I mutter. "I hand in all of my assignments on time."

"Is that enough?" She asks. "The bare minimum?"

"I'm doing what you're asking of me," I remind her. "I'm trying."

"Yes, but is it enough?" She emphasizes. "This lesson applies to more than just schoolwork, Miss Bright — this applies in life. Doing just what you're asked to do? What will that bring you?"