The Broken Clock is Right Thrice: Confessions of a Fake Psychic Detective #4

Chapter 5 - Parlor Tricks

"Magicians are the most honest people in the world. They tell you they're gonna fool you, and then they do it."

~ James Randi, renowned skeptic

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The knock at the door wakes Zandra from her nap in the hotel room. It's Sunglasses, minus the sunglasses.

"I wasn't done napping," Zandra says after opening the door. She doesn't let him inside at first. They stand in the doorway.

"Just checking in considering the circumstances," Sunglasses says. "Can I come in?"

Zandra closes the curtains after Sunglasses enters. She says, "The nap really cleared my head. You should try it some time."

"You get anything? Any visions? Revelations? Everyone has their own process," Sunglasses says. He plays with the curtain rods. "Psychics, I mean."

I know what you meant.

"Oh, yeah, I get lots from my psychic process. It's very refined. Involves sleeping, eating, and breathing. Now that you know the secret, don't tell anyone," Zandra says. She collapses into a loveseat and rubs her palms together. "Actually, there's a lot to unload. A lot."

"Please do," Sunglasses says and opens the curtains.

"Before we can do that, child, I need to read you," Zandra says.

"Me?"

"Yes. Is there anyone else in this room besides us?" Zandra says as Sunglasses holds in a chuckle. He looks like he's smirking through a hiccup. "Now hold still, child. Look in my eyes. Just focus on breathing."

Zandra watches the number of times Sunglasses's eyes blink. She logs the frequency away in her mind for use later. It's standard practice, along with blinking, pulse reading, twitching, blushing, or any otherwise disregarded movement. The idea is to establish a baseline of what's normal for a person. Anything that deviates from the baseline is a "tell." That's all there is to it.

So simple, it's stupid, but it works.

That's why Zandra never believed in the books she sold at Sneak Peek. Those overpriced guides tried to build rules and boundaries around "unlocking psychic power," sandpapering the inconsistencies with mysticism and romancing the macabre. The advice never worked in practice, but it did keep people buying books.

People can barely see past their noses 95% of the time. That's how they get played by those who pay more attention. First, prime the mark. Second, get a baseline. Third, insert a suggestion. Fourth, let the mark think they arrived at that suggestion on their own. Finally, take their money.

Five simple steps. The rest—the woo-woo and the affirmations and the ooos and ahhhs—are there to throw the mark off the scent of what's really going on.

I should've gone into politics instead.

"I'm done," Zandra says, looking away from Sunglasses.

That's the baseline.

"That's it? Aren't you supposed to read my palm or tell me my future or something?" Sunglasses says.

"You obviously don't know how this works," Zandra says. She rises from the loveseat and stuffs her few possessions into the pockets of the purple gown.

"Well, that's why I'm here, to figure all that out," Sunglasses says.

"We're going downstairs to the lobby. I feel an energetic pull, like someone could be in trouble," Zandra says. She heads for the door.