I laid staring at the ceiling thinking of how my life has been the past 2 months.
Nicki has been stand-offish, she hasn't really acted like her normal self. I was guessing postpartum depression, but the thing is she wasn't depressed she was more angry and always on go.
Beyoncé has been fighting Nicki and I on how she is 100% better and is ready to get back to work.
Before last week she was bed bound for the most part, only getting up to do her hygiene, bond with the twins and get a little exercise. She convinced us though that she could get out of bed and would tell us if she was in pain or needed to sit down.
The alarm pulled me out of my thoughts and I got up going into the bathroom to use it and do my hygiene.
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I walked into the triplets room and turned on the galaxy lights to give me some type of light.
I looked in to see Winter was up and awake while Summer was tossing and turning and Autumn was crying up a storm.
"Winter why can't your sisters maintain the same cool as you?", I asked while picking Autumn up, going to their bottle incubator, and picking up hers.
Winter wasn't so much worried about getting milk like Autumn so I didn't have to rush to finish feeding her. Summer was already back asleep which meant she wasn't gonna wake up for probably another 45 minutes.
Once I finished feeding and burping Autumn I laid her back in her bed to change her and once she was changed she was half sleep.
"Come on twin, let's get you fed.", I said while picking up a smiling Winter. Honestly she was always so happy in the morning but in the evening she was another story. She was fussy and barely liked anyone touching her.
"How long have you been up?", asked Nicki's soft voice.
"For about 40 minutes, what you doing up so early?"
"About to go handle some business.", she said.
"What business?", I asked as Winter finally burped. I got up going to my bed to change her.
"I'll be back by 2, Bey took her pain meds so she should be sleep for a little while longer."
"You didn't answer my question.", I said. She sighed before walking off. I finished up changing Winter before going downstairs.
"Onika where are you going?", I asked as she grabbed the car keys.
"To mind my business Robyn.", she said with aggravation. She had to be doing something either me or Beyoncé didn't like.
"Onika if I have to ask you one more time, WHERE ARE YOU GOING!", I said banging my fist into the granite countertop.
Her fists were clenched and tears ran down her eyes. I knew that look, her eyes were darker, if it wasn't for the sun they would be black. Her dimple was showing and she wasn't smiling.
Last time I saw it she was beating the hell out of Remy. She held rage, hurt, and more in her eyes.
"You're looking for Cyn aren't you?", I asked. She looked down and her fist clenched tighter. "ANSWER ME!"
"She hurt the people I love, even though Beyoncé or you don't express it, you're just as angry as me.", she said.
"Come here.", I said. She didn't move and inch so I walked over to her cuffing her face and wiping the tears.
"What will it take for me to tell you what happened isn't your fault, no one blames you, Beyoncé doesn't even blame you, when you and Bey came home they didn't ask what happened, they were just happy to see you two and their little sisters, no one blames you Munchkin.", I said. She nodded slowly and put her hand on top of one of mine.
I took her hand and led her up the stairs. I first went into the girl's room where we could hear their little snores. I gave her finger to Autumn and watched as she gripped it with her little hand.
"See she knows her mother's touch, her and her sisters love you, Beyoncé, and I more than anyone in the world, they don't blame you, all they do is love you, love us, just as much as we love them.", I said before leading her out of their room and into ours to see Blue, Imani, and Beyoncé cuddled up in our bed.
I opened the blinds and watched as all three of them tossed a little before relaxing again.
"They don't blame you, they look up to you, they adore you, they praise the ground you walk on.", I said before taking her in front of the mirror and facing her towards it.
I laid my head on her shoulder. "And finally I don't blame you, I can't blame you, I never will blame you, you've given me love that my own mother barely gave me, you've given me 3 beautiful girls who I would simply die for, and you've given me a reason to live."
"Why's she crying?", asked Bey while looking in the mirror with us. I slightly jumped because I didn't even hear her get up.
"She wants to go kill Cyn.", I said.
"Munchkin we are gonna get her but right now we need to focus on bouncing back, we need to spend time with our family, the twins were just talking about how they wanted to do movie night again, we will handle Cyn, I promise, but that bitch will get handled after we spend time with our kids.", she said.
Beyoncé of course wanted Cyn's head on a silver platter, she could've hurt the twins or even her mother. She wasn't worried about her, she was worried about the lives of the ones she loved most.
"'Mama cwying.", said Imani. I picked Imani.
"Give Mama a kiss Mani.", said Beyoncé. Imani smiled before giving Nicki a wet kiss. Nicki smiled with joy and slight disgust. She grabbed Mani and returned a wet kiss that made the 2 year old giggle.
"Mama kwsses wet.", giggled Imani.
"Oh hush child you're gonna love these kisses.", said Nicki before attacking Imani with more kisses.
"SHHHHHH!", yelled a grumpy Blue.
"Awww my Blueberry is trying to sleep.", I said while cuddling up against her. She whined before snuggling into me and falling back asleep.
"I saw Daisjah.", said Beyoncé.
"Who is Daisjah?", I asked.
"When I was in high school I went out with her, she basically brought me out my skin, she was the love of my life, but some boys started spreading rumors about her saying she was a slut and stuff like that, well she ended up killing herself, she took her life before I could even express my love to her, and when I was on death's doorstep I saw her and my kids.", said Beyoncé with a somber tone.
"Babygirl why are you just telling us this?", asked Nicki.
"I never talk about it, but seeing them caused me to think you two and the twins, I already lost a family worth of people and I don't wanna lose another, I can't lose you two, I can't lose my kids, I don't wanna lose anyone I care for," she got down on a knee and pulled two black boxes out of her pajama pants.
"So Robyn Rihanna Fenty and Onika Tanya Maraj, will you marry me?", she asked.
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CLIFFHANGER BITCHES‼️~Nova
Rejoice and be glad for your favorite book has been updated, and if it ain't your favorite book I hope you choke on your spit🖕🏾~Niko
