Chapter 57: Recovery

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I wake up as I notice I am still in a hospital bed.

"Good you're awake" The doctor says as he turns around from looking at his computer screen.

Telling by the light outside the window and Xavier still being present in the room, I guess I wasn't passed out for too long. I feel a big hand being placed on my head and look up to be met with Xaviers relieved eyes.

"Good thing you're awake, we were just leaving" Xavier says as he gently helps me stand up. "How are my ribs?" I ask, sounding like I'm still half asleep.

"They're badly beaten but not broken. I'll give you some pills that you are to eat morning and night, the pain will probably go away in about 3-5 weeks" The doctor informs as I nod in response.

"Can we go home now?" I ask as we're about to get seated in the car.

"Yes we are" Xavier says as he starts the car.

"Tired?" He asks, noticing my half open eyes.

"Something like that" I answered without looking at him.

"I'm thinking about maybe hiring a therapist for you" He simply says, making me immediately turn to him.

"What, why?" I ask surprised.

"You've been through a lot and won't talk about it. You're keeping your feelings inside too much" He says without emotion.

"You're one to talk mr emotionless" I say under my breath.

"I'm a full grown man and it's my job to take care of you and your emotions" He says after a minute of silence.

"You're not my dad! we're siblings and we should take care of eachother" I almost yell. His mouth slightly twitches upwards as he seems to be thinking of what to say.

"We're not talking about me right now but about you so stop changing the subject" He says, sounding a bit amused from my comments.

"I don't want a therapist" I say while folding my arms.

"Then talk to me" He says again, starting to annoy me.

"What do you want me to say huh? That a guy from my old school I thought was completely normal actually had a dad that wanted to kill me? or that his dad actually beat me, starved me and almost fucking raped me? Or maybe you want me to tell you how I felt when I saw my brother being dragged and beaten before my eyes after I thought he had died right in front of me?!!" I said with my voice getting louder and louder for every sentence.

In the end I yelled at him with tears streaming down my face. Suddenly the car stops and I realize that we just arrived at the house, perfect timing.

I quickly run out the car door and slam it. I run through the door and up the stairs, straight to bed. I slam my face in my pillow as I cry out all that I'm feeling. I cry so much that I fail to notice Xavier entering my room and placing his warm hand on my shaking back. He strokes my back slowly as I whimper and sniffle.

"I feel so...so-" I start but don't know how to continue.

"Shh i know" Xavier says with the most gentle tone i've ever heard him use.

"I just want everything to be normal again... i just want to feel happy but i feel like it's impossible" I say with my head still in my pillow and my voice getting hitched from my shaking back that Xavier keeps rubbing.

"I know it's hard, I know exactly how it is to lose people you love" He says with the last part sounding like he whispered to himself.

"And it was all my fault too. If they had never met me then they would be living a happy life right now together. My existence ruined them and now my parents are dead" I cry

"I wish it was me who died instead of-" I can't continue as Xavier cuts me off.

"Aria" He says sharply with a serious voice.

"Look at me" He continues just as serious. I slowly get up and look into his eyes.

"Nothing that happened was your fault and don't you dare ever think that" He started with his eyes glued to mine.

"And don't you ever wish to have taken someone else's place in dying, understood?" He says as I nod and look down.

"Fine i won't talk about dying again" I agree but feel my chin getting lifted by his strong grip.

"I didn't talk about you saying it, i don't want you thinking it for yourself either" He says sharply. 

"Yes I understand" I say and he let's me go.

"You'll feel hurt for some time and that's ok. Don't try to act happy or fine if you're not. It'll get better with time and you'll be happy again" He says with softend eyes.

"You promise?" I ask, looking up at him.

"I promise" He says with his eyes glued to mine. Before he leaves my room I jump off the bed and run into his arms, hugging him tightly which seems to surprise him.

"Thank you Xavier, I don't know what i would've done without you and the others if you weren't here right now" I say while tightening my arms around him. He puts his arms around me and hugs me protectively as I feel a smile make its way to my lips.

"I wouldn't know what i'll do if you weren't here either, honestly we all searched for you the whole time we found out that you had disappeared and we were all out of control with anger and desperation" He said, still hugging me.

"Besides, I got some information about Sebastian. He's gonna be able to come here in just a few days. The doctor said he was recovering faster than expected" He says, breaking the hug. I immediately look up at him with a smile and feel pure excitement to see my twin again.

After he leaves I again walk to my bed and lie on it while looking up at the ceiling. I feel a lot lighter and calmer than I did before and I honestly feel some hope in me. 'Maybe i actually will feel happy again' 

Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Sebastian will arrive in the next one.

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