billies pov:
"baby please, baby listen to me. can you hear me?" i plead for y/n to look at meet, hear me, feel me. shes shaking and crying, it hurts so much to see her like this. i have no idea how long she's been like this i feel so guilty i should've come and got her soon her.
"billie what's wr-" my mum bursts in the toilets look down to find us both on the floor, both crying. "i don't know what happened i don't know what to i just don't know this is all my fault i should've never left her on her own, i should've never been mad when i got off stage, i should be better to her mum and i can't even help her when she needs it most" i cried still clinging to y/n. "oh darling this is your fault but come on let's try and get her back to the green room."
y/n is clung to me and i carry her back to the geeen room with my mum escorting us. she's hyperventilating, i'm worried she's going to pass out.
we get her into the green room and we both lay on the sofa. "baby listen to me, i can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong, please i just want to help you this is all my fault and i'm so sorry i shouldn't have slammed the door in your face please i'm so sorry baby please listen to me please" i cry whilst holding onto her for dear life.
y/n's pov:
my dad. i miss him. i miss my dog. i miss my room. i miss the people from home. which is weird because i never called it home, i always called it the house. i blame school for that. the few times i was allowed in the taught me that a home is somewhere that you feel safe, you feel loved and protected. my dad never did any of that.
i looked up and realised that i was now in the green room, billies watery eyes looking at me. eagerly watching for me next move. i slowly look up to see maggie, patrick and finneas all watching with their concerned pitty faces. i hate pitty. i love these people but i hate pitty. i hate anyone feeling bad for me. i don't deserve their care. they should be using it for billie.
billies pov:
"hey.." i whisper in y/n's ear. "i'm sorry" she stifles out between the last few years. "don't be sorry it's all my fault i shouldn't have slammed the door, i shouldn't have left you alone, i shouldn't ha-" "shut up" i look up at her confused and hurt. "it's not your fault stop blaming yourself please, its hurting me that i'm hurting you i just want you to be happy and okay, you didn't do anything wrong. i promise" she says starring into my eyes. "can everyone give us some privacy please" i demand, to which everyone leaves the green room.
once i heard the door shut i kissed y/n. it was a passionate, slow, emotion filled kiss. like when you kiss someone you have had a crush of for ages.
y/n's pov:
i was taken a back by billie. i enjoyed it but taken a back none the less.once i realised what was going on i kissed her back. it started to get really heated and i could feel billies soft hand roaming my body, finding their way under my-well her- clothes. tugging at them trying to close the non-existent space between both of us. i break off the kiss.
"is it something i did? did i do something wrong?" she question look at me intently waiting. "no you didn't babe, i really enjoyed it i'm just" i paused not know how to word it. "just?" billie look at me waiting and watching my every move. "i just don't think it's a good idea doing anything in here with your family and team nearby, plus with everything that's just happened i'd really love to just sit and cuddle with you" she breathed a sigh of relief. "of course sweetheart, if you want to talk about it you can"
time skip a few hours.
we are back on the bus on our own. i told billie everything that caused that panic attack. she told me how it's normal to miss toxic people. how that because they are so horrible most of the time, the brain clings onto those few really amazing moments with you and want to push them to the front so you don't loose them. it's fucked really. i hate it but it's something i'm going to have to learn to get over.
right now we are sat on her bunk, all cuddled up watching the babadook. billie insisted that if we were going to watch a film it had to be that one. i kept getting scared and jumping towards her, as if i wasn't already pressed up against her chest, her arms wrapped around me. "baby you okay? it's just a film" she giggled softly. i turn to face her staining deeply into her eyes.
billies pov:
y/n's stairing at me. her eyes filled with lust. i slowly lean in and start to kiss her soft lips. my hands finding their way to the crook of her neck and her cheek, pulling her even closer to me. her hands tug on my hair, making me slightly part my lips, enough for her to snake her tounge into my mouth. exploring every part of it, every little detail. my hands roamed round her body, tugging at my clothes she's wearing, hinting that i wanted her to take them off.....
