TransTubbo

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Irl Tubbo not canon Tubbo

Tubbos pov:
"Alright guys bye!" I waved before ending the stream. I clicked the 'end stream' button, a sigh immediately escaping my lips as I leaned back in my chair as much as humanly possible. I felt drained of all my social energy, even though i never actually had to communicate with my chat personally, maybe answer a few questions here and there.
But now I was sat in my room, back to reality, completely empty, lonely, quiet room. Just me and myself. I clicked my tongue unsure of what to do now that I wasn't online.

"Ughhhhhhh" I groaned, I was immediately filled with energy and sat up with a smile, "right. What now?" I asked myself looking around the room.

I have a tendency to distract myself with literally anything, it's one of the reasons I started streaming. Either I am busy doing something, or dysphoria kicks in. I hate gender dysphoria so much, I just don't want to deal with it.

I got up off my gaming chair and walked to the other side of the room to sit on the stool next to my keyboard, a small smile forced its way onto my face as I played a single note. The sound filling me w serotonin.

I started to just play random notes until actual ideas for patterns came to my mind, then eventually a whole song. There were no words, there didn't need to be words. The music was personal to me and spoke for itself.

I paused for a moment, my gaze drifting to my hand as I was lost in thought about music, "Hm.. I have really feminine hands..." I subconsciously said out loud to myself, immediately snapping out of it and shoving the thought out of my mind. I slapped my hands together next to my face as if to wake me, startle me out of a spiral in some way.

"Right, what now?" I asked myself, spinning in the stool 180°, looking around the room at everything I owned, "nope nope nope nope" I spoke as I scanned almost every object. I didn't really feel like doing anything but I knew I needed to do SOMETHING.
"Hmmmm...." I hummed, questioningly. "I coouullddddd..." I started, hoping something would spark an ending for my sentence, as if by starting maybe I would get an epiphany of sorts and just know what to do. But nothing came to mind.

"Aw man.." I got up off the stool and started looking around again incase I maybe missed something.

A ping interrupted my train of thought. A familiar ping that always helped me in times like this.

Discord.

Someone just joined a vc.

I immediately sat back on my chair, a hopeful smile on my face as I span to face the monitors, clicking on discord I scanned the channels to find all the vcs empty.
Except one.
Vc5.
'Random but okay' I thought.

I looked at the account, seeing the familiar profile photo and nametag.
Ranboo.

I joined, "HI RANBOO!" I greeted. I heard a bit of rustling from the other, "hey Tubbo. How are you?" He asked.

"I'm great!" I lied, "thanks for asking MrBoo how are you?"

"Yeah... Yeah I'm alright..." he responded. He sounded worn out, I couldn't tell if it was sadness or tiredness.

"You sure man? You sound a bit... I don't know like out of it?" I asked cautiously. I wasn't sure and didn't want to offend the taller.

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