Blitzo, Moxxie, and Verosika all found themselves tied up together in wooden chairs suiting underneath one light.
Verosika: What happened!? Blitzo where are we!?
Blitzo: I don't know...
Moxxie: Ugggh...
???: You are in our hideout, demon scum.
The three demons looked and saw Agents One and Two with smug looks on their faces.
Agent Two: Finally awake, huh? little fella. Your friend has been a while now.
Blitzo: Look, shitbag, it takes a lot to keep me down, alright? I took a fuck ton of tranquilizers in the college I dropped out of. Also, I've been strapped nipple first to a car battery, so I- oh, okay.
Agent One: Tell us, demon scum. Who do you work for? Satan?
[Agent Two grabs the light again and passes it to Agent One for each question.]
Agent Two: How did you get to our world from the afterlife?
Agent One: Why are youse killing humans?
Agent Two: When did you show up here?
Blitzo: Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there, bitch. First of all, we just woke up from a very nasty shock and I'm still feeling fuckin' woozy, so I'm gonna request you fetch us some coffee before we get into this. I mean, everyone gets coffees in shitty movies with scenes like this, am I right? I want something iced, bitch. Mox? Verosika?
Verosika: (smugly) I would like to have a good Espresso made well with a lungo ratio of 1:3 and 20 grams of ground beans and when they use the creama, make sure they put in my face in it, perfectly made. If you bums can't handle that, then please by all means, get me an Irish coffee with extra coffee beans and a small amount of whiskey.
Moxxie: I'll have a Neopolitan cappuccino, more cappu than cino, make sure it's got no more than four ounces of milk, the beans won't have the right texture otherwise, and make sure they spell my name correctly on the cup they always put "Foxy" or "Roxy", I hate that. If you can't handle that, I'll have a Venti traditional Misto. Please use soy milk with two blond shots Affogato and Ristretto. I'd also love three vanilla pumps at the very bottom. Then, add the coffee after, then-
Agent One: Enough! We aren't getting youse coffee!
Blitzo: Wow, I was getting massive douche chills just there, Mox. Congrats!
Agent Two: If we have to, we are willing to resort to torture methods to get answers out of you nasty hell beasts!
Moxxie: When you say "tortured", do you mean physical or psychological? Physical seems counterproductive; we would likely tell you anything if it meant an end to the pain, and you have no way of knowing what was true.
Blitzo: Or we might like it too much. And then you got a whole new thing to deal with.
Agent One: What do you mean by that?
Blitzo: Oh, you're stupid, huh? I can work with stupid. Daddy Likey Dummy!
Agent Two: You better stop laughin' at us.
Agent One grabs Blitzo's collar and screams at the imp's face.
Agent One: Yeah! You're the ones at our mercy!
YOU ARE READING
Helluva Boss: Heroes From Hell (Verosika Mayday x Reader) AU
RomanceY/N L/N is a young straight Imp demon working with good old Blitzo and the rest of the team. He later tells them that he was childhood friends with none other than the beautiful and gorgeous succubus popstar known only as Verosika Mayday. When she r...
