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Alone. Nothing I wasn't custom too. With the emptiness and coldness that always surrounded me as a child. My father himself was a raging alcoholic or whatever they called men that drank a lot and beat their kids. My mother died giving birth to me, which caused my father to love and hate me at the same time as I looked just like her. My brothers were alright I guess, until they became older. 

Stone was always the brother I avoided. I never went near him, not that he comes round often anyway. He was always cold and kept to himself or spoke to my brothers. He didn't really spare me a glance whenever he was around. It was like I didn't exist to him, so therefore he didn't exist to me. He left when he was 17 and I was 7. Hes now 26 and own his own business, the only reason I know if because I heard Ravy talking about it to Lucian.

Ravy was just the same, he acted like I didn't exist, he was always with some girl, or messing around with Rome, which makes sense as they are twins, but still they were both assholes to me, I remember one time I was trying to talk to Rome and I kept mimicking him which really pissed him off and he ended up slapping me really hard. I was 8. It was so fucked up that I didn't mutter a word to him for two whole years, until him and Ravy decided to follow Stone away to wherever he went the first time.

Millian and me use to be really close, he was 16 when he left, whereas I was 12. I had finally gotten over Ravy and Rome leaving me alone when Millain left. He would protect me at school when we were in primary. I was 11 and he was 15 and some guys were taking the piss out of my ginger hair, so he kicked the shit out of them and got suspended, but when the principle took him away, he gave me a wink and a small smile to tell me its all okay. He was my favourite.

Lucian normally avoided me like the plague, I tried speaking to him when I was little but in the end I gave up, he had always hated the way I looked like our mother, with my long curling ginger hair, and sprayed out freckles onto my face, my tiny nose and huge round eyes, just like her. He left a lot earlier at 15, he went when Millian did, they both waved a small wave which is the most attention I had ever gotten from them. 

I just nodded and went back to my room, not even smiling.

I knew they were going to leave me some time or another. After all they all forgot about me for years. I'm 16 now and Stone is 26, he hasn't spoken to me for 9 years. The others didn't call me, text me, check on me to see if I was okay. Never.

My father was a different story all together. He hated me as soon as I was born. I was taken care of by my mother best friend, Celina. My brothers gave me no attention growing up, I mean as a kid I tried, Hard. They just were never bothered. 5 older brothers. People would say when they found out that no one must ever mess with you with the brothers you have.

Bullshit. They did the hurting.

My father use to smack me around as a kid, a smack on the lower thigh, a whip of a towel, a backhand across the face. He would always stop there but for the last few years he's become more angry. I stay out now, I rarely ever go home. I may hang around with the wrong crowd but it is what it is.

Smoking a joint never hurt anyone.

I went home last night high as a kite, hoping that my father wasn't around, but he was. He was there, sat with a dim light showing his face in the darkness. I sobered up pretty quickly.

"Where the fuck were you? I get you not being around and I couldn't care less if you are but I don't want the cops coming to my door with a shit-faced daughter high on weed and coke.", He said, slurring his words. He had obviously been drinking.

I was too scared to even breathe as I walked backwards towards the stairs. He notices but just raises his eyebrows and smirks. He then slowly gets up and I break for the stairs.

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