Petal [h.s.]

THREE - DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE

"I shouldn't be here."

"No, you definitely shouldn't. What possessed you to throw her slipper off the balcony?" Buffy gave me a harsh look, leading me toward the doors of the new neighboring shop, Good Vibrations.

She was dressed similar to them. Buffy always had an edgier style than anyone else I knew, but seeing her tonight made me realize that she looked like she belonged here. In the Wasteland, at Good Vibrations, with Arabella and Finn. I paled in comparison to her, but I didn't mind so much. The last thing I wanted was to fit in with those people.

I stared up at the sign as we approached the building. It was more of a neon red, not pink like I originally thought, and written in a loopy cursive, glaring in the night time. Her storefront had been painted matte black, which I didn't mind so much, but all the neon shining through the windows ruined it for me. The summer carnival was just starting to be set up on the Boardwalk, so there weren't any other neon lights around us to drown it out yet. It was loud and abrasive, just like my neighbor.

My fingers rolled up against my palm, clenching into a fist at my side. I hated it. I hated the shop and I hated her. I hated seeing her on that balcony, flushed and panting with a man between her legs. I hated the way she met my eyes brazenly and smirked when she caught me staring. I hated her loud and angry music through the walls. I hated her moans and cries of pleasure every goddamn morning since she moved in.

I hated seeing her and being reminded of that night. I hated how ashamed I felt when I left Apartment X. I hated even more how renewed I felt at the same time. I hated how obsessed I became with her afterwards, how hard I had to fight to regain control of my life. My feelings had never been as conflicted as they were when I left that place. I told myself I'd never look back. I couldn't stand how confused I felt, I needed comfort and familiarity, I needed Jessie.

I tried so hard to just ignore Arabella now, but I couldn't. Jessie couldn't understand why I wouldn't let it go. This morning when I played Celine Dion to ruin Arabella's orgasm, Jessie got annoyed and left as soon as I flipped the song on. It was ironic, having her act as if she never hated anyone before, because in my years of experience being with her-she hated everyone on sight, for no reason at all. At least I had my reasons to hate Arabella.

"I don't want to be here. I'm not going in." I shook my head, starting to turn away from the door.

"Oh, yes you are." Buffy grabbed my arm and yanked me back, "You're going to go in and apologize to her. Then you're going to take full advantage of the open bar as a reward for being such a nice and welcoming neighbor."

"This is bullshit. I've never had to be friends with any of the neighbors. Why are you making me play nice with her?" I asked and she sighed heavily.

"Because you need to make friends with the neighbors! You know how close knit this community is and you haven't managed to cross that barrier. You're an outsider to these people. Maybe getting to be friends with a local will help you out." She said, but I could tell there was more that she wasn't saying.