Guilty Love

30| Past

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Past

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Chapter 30: Past (Ronan's POV)

"You said you wouldn't?" I asked, walking ahead of her, storming off. I was heading back to the blanket so we could pack up and leave but after that, I can't say I'm not fucking fuming. 

"No, I didn't!" she groaned, catching up to me. 

"You said you'd wait for him?" I scoffed, shaking my head. 

She grabbed my arm, forcing me to halt. I closed my eyes and sighed as she stood in front of me. "No, I didn't. I really didn't, Ronan. I would have told you if I did. We were honest with each other when we talked about the four years we missed. I would never lie to you, especially about something like that. I didn't love him, why would I wait for him? And if I did tell him I would, do you really think I would have told you that night that he asked me that question? Ronan, please," she begged, "you have to believe me." 

I stared at her while she put her arms around my waist, holding me tightly. 

"You have to believe me," she pleaded, her eyes becoming doe-eyed, puppy eyes. "If I had even a sliver of doubt in my mind or even a little space left in my heart and life for him, I wouldn't have just told you a moment ago that I was in love with you. He's in my past, Ronan. You have to know that, come on." 

"So was I." 

"You're not just my past. You're my present and future too, you know that." 

I grabbed her arms, pulling them away from me. 

"Ronan?" She stared at me. 

Are we really going to let someone like him come in and ruin what we have? No. We've always been honest with each other and the one time I wasn't, everything was ruined. We learned our lesson. 

"Ronan, please say something," she huffed. "Don't you believe—"

I leaned down, holding either side of her face. She stumbled back, grabbing onto my shirt as I kissed her quickly, walking forward. I only prayed that the kiss made her feel what I felt. She was mine, I don't care who came in between when I was gone. 

She took numerous steps back, reaching the blanket and I stopped, pulling away to look at her. She stared at me, wide-eyed and shocked. "You've never kissed me like that," she panted. 

I packed up everything before turning to her. "I'll do a lot of things I've never done before today." I heaved a breath, standing up and staring at her. "If you let me. Let's go." 

We both held our shoes in our hands and she grabbed my hand as we started walking back to her house, still in the rain. We walked in silence. She was overthinking it all, I could tell. 

She still wasn't sure if I believed her or not. 

I did. 

She wasn't sure why I kissed her like that. 

Because she's mine.