if i can't have you || rini au

58. now i've got to let you go

ricky quickly brought his hand down, holding a box in the other as he stared at the brunette girl at her door, her face filled in puzzlement as she opened her mouth

"h-hi!"

"hi."

"hi..."

"...hello..." he replied slowly, fiddling with his fingers nervously as he looked at her

"do you...do you want to come in?" she asked quietly, gesturing behind her

ricky gave a curt nod, hesitantly walking in before her as she closed her bedroom door, quickly fixing her hair and adjusting her shirt to make herself seem a little more presentable before she turned around to face him, seeing him looking around the room.

his eyes landed on the snow globe that nini had placed right beside the window, on its shelf and he felt his heart stop.

"do you-want to sit?" she asked, motioning to the chair

ricky tore his gaze away from the window and back at her, blinking a few times in realization that she'd ask him a question "oh! um...s-sure."

he made his way to sit down and nini sat in front of him, the two still feeling the awkwardness of one another.

they both just didn't know what to say or how to say anything to each other...too scared of something going wrong or making it worse than how they left things hours ago.

the silence was unbearable for him, so ricky sighed after a few minutes, shaking his head and standing up "i'm sorry. this is probably just a bad idea..."

nini looked at him full of guilt as she tried to open her mouth to say something and stop him but he kept talking

"you-you told me to leave and i don't know why i came here i'm-i'll just go." he exhaled, making his way towards the door

but the girl quickly stood up and walked towards him. she still had to talk to him.

"n-no, ricky, please-"

she reflexively brought her hand out to his arm and he halted in his tracks and froze, looking back at her and seeing her close to him

nini pulled her hand away quickly and cleared her throat, taking a step back "i'm-sorry..."

he swallowed and shook his head "um...it's fine-"

"no. no, it's not fine. i'm sorry. not just for this but for everything." she said shakily as she felt her eyes sting "i-i'm sorry that i wasted time in your life to being with me when it's all just hopeless and im sorry for hurting you. i-i didn't mean-i don't not-"

she felt a few tears fall down her face as she looked down and ricky's face suddenly softened and his heart sank as he heard her cry quietly

"i-i'm sorry." she squeaked, letting out an uncontrollable sob

"hey," he said softly, putting the box he held on her vanity and taking a quick few steps towards her as he brought her into his arms without another thought

nini wrapped her arms around his waste and closed her eyes tightly, breathing in shakily as she cried in his chest and ricky felt his eyes sting, resting his chin on the crook of her neck.

she inhaled deeply, feeling his scent and comforting embrace around her that had always been able to make her feel safe and secure. and that made her tighten her grip around him

"i-i don't want to let you go." she whispered, her voice breaking

ricky shuddered a breath of relief yet heartbreak and shook his head "me neither."