KHAOS' SAVING GRACE - SONS OF SILENCE MC (BOOK 3)

Kicking My Demons' Asses

KHAOS POV

    I am sitting with Ivy and Wolf eating dinner since they are the main ones that give me judgmental looks. That doesn't mean they have been the happiest with me but Ivy blew up after helping get all the information they could from Maria. She told me off and slapped me hard, I deserved it, then she said Cherry is a big girl that made the choice to leave to deal. As long as I own my part of it she'll deal with it and still loves me, after all I am her big brother. If Ivy is good with someone, then Wolf is too. Though she has appeared to be in deep thought and quiet this evening. All of the sudden she jumps up and yells, "OH SHIT. NONE OF US HAVE BEEN THINKING STRAIGHT. CALL MEDIC NOW. SHE MAY HAVE GOTTEN A RIDE WITH THEM OR HID IN THEIR VAN. THEY LEFT THE SAME DAY AS CHERRY." It's good to know what she has been thinking so hard about but it makes me feel worse, why didn't I think of that. "That's a great idea, Sis. I am glad you thought of it. I hope she did ride out with them. Thank you for everything." I tell her.

    Dad waves us to his office to call Medic. He answers on the third ring. "Hey Mayhem, we just left there a couple of days ago. Please, tell me nothing happened to anyone. Ivy? The twins? Is everyone okay?" Medic asks, sounding panicked. "Everyone is okay or at least we hope so. Ivy and the twins are good. It's Cherry we are calling about. Did she get a ride out of here with you? Maybe stowaway in your van? Alejandro wants her back. She escaped him five years ago by faking her death with help from a doctor. Maria was able to get a message to him that she had a surprise for him with a picture of Cherry. So now he knows she is alive." dad replies. "She didn't get a ride out with us. It's been two days, if she stowed away with us, she is damn good because we didn't see her. I can go check the van, my guess is if she wants to disappear and not be seen, she can do it expertly. Hun, I am going to go check the van to see if we have a stowaway. I will explain later." he yells to Leena, probably taking a shower at a hotel. We can hear him open a door and walk downstairs. "I can understand why Cherry would want to get away. Does she know Alejandro knows she is alive?" Medic asks. "No, she was gone before we got the information from Maria, unless Maria told her, but I doubt it. As we could tell Maria told him the night Cherry disappeared." Ivy replies to him. I am almost to the parking lot. Like I said I will look and see if she hid in our van, but I am telling you she didn't ask us for a ride. I can understand that you guys are worried about her but seeing how Khaos treated her while we were there, I can understand her leaving. I figured someone who had been loyal to you as long as Cherry was, wasn't lying about Maria. I just wish Khaos had seen that too." Medic says and you can hear the disgust in his voice. "He feels like shit for it. It may have been misguided but he felt he was protecting Maria." mom replies to him while looking disappointed in me. "Yeah, I am sure he does now too after seeing the proof. Damn shame it took that to prove it to him. I am sorry but I am a little pissed at him. I may not know Cherry well, but I hate any kind of violence against women. Making someone feel like they can't stay with the ones they love and that loves them with your attitude is the same thing as abuse to me. If Alejandro does get her and kills her, how is he going to feel then?" he asks. "Definitely worse than he does now but I for one am trying not to punish him worse." Ivy stands up for me. "I get it he feels bad, and I hope he learns from this. No sign of her in our van. She could've been and gotten out on one of our stops between here and there. If you need our help or our allies' help let Tank or me know. I hope you guys find her safe and sound, rather she returns home, so it is up to her. I wish you guys all the best of luck. Bye." he states. Dad and Ivy reply bye.

     "We will find her. Don't let what he said make you feel worse. I know you still won't admit it but you are in love with Cherry too. When you figured it out, you freaked and pushed her away. I don't like it but I understand." Ivy says, patting my arm. I nod getting up. "I am heading off to bed. After hearing that I need time and sleep." I reply. I hear some good nights and some byes. I lay down on my bed as soon as I get there. I think about what Medic said and what Ivy said too. I can understand him feeling that way. Hell, I am beating myself up for it daily. I know that I love Cherry. Hell, I'm in love with her. Did it scare me? Hell yeah. I remember a few months ago I was picturing what Wolf and Ivy have, for myself. When I did it I pictured Cherry with me. It scared the fuck out of me. I had already started distancing myself from Cherry some. So, when Maria said Cherry had threatened her because of me, I believed her. I believed the worst in Cherry because I was scared of how she makes me feel. I just couldn't get past the fact she used to be a sweetbutt. I am so fucking stupid. I know our club wouldn't judge us but I was worried others would. I let that thought rule me.