Bits of Chemistry | ✓

Kabanata 11

Kabanata 11

There are things that even if you begged to the ground to be forgiven — you simply won't be. You can never minimize someone's pain even if you were in their shoes once; we cope differently, we can never dictate how someone should feel or whether they should forgive or not. You cannot ask for forgiveness and abruptly be forgiven.

Napapikit ako nang mariin habang nakatingala. I slowly stood from my bed as I prepare for another day.

That happened almost a year ago. It's only been a year but he surely left a ghost town inside my heart. I thought I needed years for me to miss him — but I do every day and I regret every word I said.

Nakakadiri ka, Etienne.

No, Lavy. You were the one who's disgusting. I smiled bitterly. If only I knew. I wished I could turn back that one second and I would hug him. I would comfort him. I would say I'm sorry that he needed to sacrifice himself to. . .

Muli ako'ng umiyak.

My salvation is still far away from me. Naduduwag ako dahil alam kong nagkamali ako. Alam kong may kasalanan ako. At alam kong mahirap ang magpatawad sa isang taong nag-traydor sa iyo.

"You're enrolling in University of Jeanne D'Arc?" tanong ni Dayanara sa akin sa harap ng hapagkainan. My sister, Mareena, is currently eating her food too. Unlike the rest of the Reverios, Mareena is very cheerful and kind.

I silently scoffed.

Ampon yata 'to e. Baka galing sa ibang sperm cell o egg cell. Walang 'cheerful' at 'kindness' sa mga magulang n'ya. Kaya naman nagtataka ako.

"Yes," I replied briefly. I slowly cut my steak in half. I dipped it on the mash potato, weird combination but I love it.

"You're taking ABM, right?" Alfos asked, his sight focusing on me.

Hindi ako nakasagot agad. I was dreading for this day because I know that they won't like my answer. Wala naman kasi talagang mahilig sa 'science' sa pamamahay namin. We were more aligned to economics and business.

"STEM po," I cleared out. Agad na kumunot ang noo ni Alfos. One thing's for sure, he's not pleased.

Nakita ko naman na bahagyang natigilan si Kuya Adren at si Lolo sa kanilang pagkain. Mukhang na-alarma rin sila sa pagsisiwalat ko ng gusto kong kurso.

Adren has always seen me as a rival. I don't care about the company though and I'm even willing to cooperate with them if it means I get my freedom back. Tinitiis ko na lamang ang natitirang taon na kasama sila. Once that I finished med school, lilisan na rin naman ako sa pamamahay nila.

"STEM is for what again?" Alfos wiped the side of his lips. His full attention panning on me.

"Science, technology, engineering, and mathematics po." I elaborated since I know the K-12 is a new curriculum here in our country. "It's the strand for medical related jobs, engineering, architecture and more."

"Isn't that for boys?" Alfos snorted. Humigpit ang hawak ko sa aking kubyertos.

Of course, they would assume that only boys are capable of taking the STEM strand. It's their old fashioned mindset. In the old days, most of them would direct women to other courses because science, technology, engineering and business is helpful when it comes to the patriarchal society that they have built.

"Ano ang magiging trabaho mo riyan? Isn't that hard?" Dayanara snorted. "Why don't you settle for an easier strand?"

"This is where my future career is aligned po." I said, trying my best not to be rude. Nasa harap si Lolo, the best way to at least appear decent in his eyes is try not to choke Dayanara in front of him.