The Fallen Widow

37. Cold Heart

Standing at the door of his SUV, dressed in pastel lavender kameez, pinching a mahogany-red chador to her chest, with a string rainbow bracelet, the fresh village air and pure mountain water healed Meh'r-Bano. It had been eight days since she left the haveli, limping and in pain.

"What's going on? Where are you taking me?"
Meh'r-Bano stepped up and reached for the grab bar. Once inside, she bowed her head and stood in the car with the door wide open. Wajahat Ali reversed sharply turning the car around. The car swung. The door slammed shut trapping Meh'r-Bano's chador in the door. She lost her footing and fell back. Wajahat Ali speeded throwing Meh'r-Bano off balance. She grabbed the handle above the window and was thrust forward towards Shah Nawaz and stamped imprinting her dusty imprint on his black polished leather sandal. She gasped reaching out. Shah Nawaz broke her fall. Her bangles jingled against his shoulder as her hand landed on his shoulder on his soft shawl. He reached out and stabilised her. Once the car was steady, she fell back on her seat.
"I'm sorry." She apologised looking down at his dusty sandal.

Shah Nawaz sat calmly flicking out his cigarette out of the window. With her chador stuck in the door, she was embarrassed and felt exposed with her head uncovered sitting alone with Shah Nawaz. She tugged her chador. She looked ahead at Wajahat.
"Can you stop the car?" She tugged her chador. "Please, stop the car!" The chador was her favourite, an expensive gift from Shafiq who bought it for an Eid present. It was trapped in the door and soon in the wheels and tear. The car speeded ahead Wajahat Ali paid no attention to Meh'r-Bano and took command from Shah Nawaz.
Nodding his head gently in annoyance, Shah Nawaz shuffled closer to Meh'r-Bano. He slanted over her reaching for the door. Meh'r-Bano quickly inclined back when his breath warmed the tip of her nose. He reached for the door handle and opened the door whilst the car was driving in speed. He tugged her chador and pulled it in and slammed the door shut. Tilted closer to Meh'r-Bano he whispered.
"A tear in a dupatta cannot be restored to it's original state."
Wajahat Ali looked up in his rear-view window at Shah Nawaz getting cosy with Meh'r-Bano.
"Belt up." Shah Nawaz returned to his seat.
Taking the length of her chador she wrapped it over her head and chest and clicked the belt.
"What do you want? Where are we going?"
"The scenic route."
The car was stifling with black out windows and a strong smell of smoke. Meh'r-Bano wasn't sure if she could lower the window. Her body rigid.
"I was three-year-old when I was at the river." Meh'r-Bano turned to Shah Nawaz wondering whether he was talking on the phone. His tone, natural, relaxed and telling a story like they were best friends.
"The river was my playground."
Wajahat Ali followed the river driving upstream. Shah Nawaz continued to tell his story of the river leaving Meh'r-Bano dumfounded. She glanced at his countenance, his pronounced sharp nose but trying not to stare rudely. He would flick is moustache or comb his beard with his fingers. His rings large, colourful stones.
"I had two- well three if you count my older sister- three mothers. They all doted over me. Mothering me. I guess I was spoilt."
Spoilt? Meh'r-bano shook her head lightly. He wasn't spoilt. He was self-entitled, privileged brat!
"Where are we going?" Meh'r-Bano held her belt. The car drove up hill.
"Dai-ama tells me I used to crush grapes in my hand rather than eat them. I used to wrestle with my older nephews and cousins. I was swimming strongly by two."
The car drove off road and up a rocky hill causing fear to spill through Meh'r-Bano. Her heartbeat quickened. Where were they going? There was only one route, to a cliff. After fifteen minutes, Wajahat stamped on the brake and she fell forward but the belt pulled her back. They parked near the cliff. Shah Nawaz clicked on his window and Meh'r-Bano's window whirred down. Shah Nawaz neared Meh'r-Bano, shuffling in his seat, she moved back. He reached over her and pointed out of the window. His face close to her face that she held her breath. His aftershave strong,  masculine taking her to the day she was blindfolded and met him for the first time. She took a deep breath that she inhaled it in her lungs.
"There-" She turned her face to follow his hand down to the river where the river was at full and fast flow.
"Three years old. Dressed in a small gold stud in my left ear." He stared at the ring on her nose. "Naked. That's all I was wearing."
Her cheeks burned red. Why was he telling her this?
"Here." He punched his chest. "I was shot."
Meh'r-Bano gasped softly and looked at him. His eyes grey dressed in kohl pierced through hers. "The bullet was supposed to kill me, but missed my heart by a millimetre." He plucked a silver chain from his neck and revealed a crushed bullet pierced by his chain. He carried the bullet which was removed from his chest as a reminder of the tragic day.
"Is that the bullet?"
"My mother kept it."
"Why?"
"To put the bullet back in his body. We keep our enemies closer than our lovers." She moved aside believing she was also the enemy. The car turned and drove downhill. Shah Nawaz returned to his seat.
"Do you know who it was?"
A tense silence passed between them and her question hung in the air like a bad smell. Shah Nawaz  moved onto a lighter and random topic; Sai Baba. He talked about his travels, his poetry and singing confusing Meh'r-Bano.
"A man with no abode. No shoes. No money and wealth. He sat by my bed for four weeks. Praying. A true man of God whose prayers were accepted." It was clear that he admired Sai Baba greatly.
"I don't understand why you are telling me this."
He turned to her. "Because Hoorayn, the river is a dangerous place. Stay away."
"Why would someone shoot me? What have I done to them?"
Once again, her question hung in the air and conjoined the bad smell. The car turned back to the haveli leaving Meh'r-Bano questioning where they are going.
"You recovered well. Carrying a load and washing the laundry."
"My husband looked after me, that's why I recovered quickly." She turned to the window emphasising the word 'husband'. As the car, turned the road Meh'r-Bano realised they were returning the haveli.
"I'm not going back."
"You still have debts to pay. Do you think you will walk away? It's clear the time away has helped you recover. " He straightened his shawl. "Now, you will work at the haveli until you pay off the debt."
The car approached the haveli gates sending a sweat down Meh'r-Bano's back wounds. She looked around for Shafiq. Terrified she would encounter that evil man who whipped her, she clung onto the car door.
"It's the day of God. Jumma. Do you think my prayers will be accepted?" He straightened his luxury watch on his wrist.
"That's between you and Allah." Worry lines spread along her forehead. The car pulled into the haveli. Her body poured with worry. She didn't want to be here.
"I'm sure you have an opinion. That brain of yours ticks loudly. I can hear the cogs and read your mind."