I don't know how long I sat there after Gerard left. I would like to say it was only five minutes, but I'm ashamed to admit that it was probably about an hour before I left the diner.
I was just really confused.
I sat there forever just trying to figure out what I had agreed to- meeting him here tomorrow, at five. Same time as today. The rest of the time was spent wondering what on earth had actually just happened.
I'd had a bad day, I knew that much. The people at my school weren't exactly the kindest, and the lockers aren't exactly the most comfortable things to be slammed into, either.
Something about that boy, though... Something about Gerard just comforted me a bit. If he could be so happy and outgoing, why couldn't I?
"Frank?" Sandra, the waitress, asked, making me jump. "Would you like something to drink?"
I shook my head, trying to shake away the surprise. "N-no. I'm fine."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah."
"Well, call me if you need anything..."
"I will."
She walked away and I turned my gaze almost automatically to the door, the last place I had seen the bright bob of unnaturally red hair.
"I'm not giving you my full attention, Frank. I have a million things on my mind right now, and you're just a stranger at a coffee shop who looked lonely. You're the least of my concerns."
It didn't seem to me like I was the "least of his concerns." He seemed to be extremely focused on me, especially for having just met me for the first time.
Or maybe he was just a good multitask-er. I wouldn't know, because I had never been one. I'd proved that this morning when I tried to balance my school books while walking away from the kids who liked to call me names.
I was vaguely aware of the fact that it had started to rain outside, a light mist fogging the restaurant windows and blurring my vision of the outside world. I both liked and disliked the fog- I liked how it hid me from the rest of society, but I hated how it clouded my interpretations of the people and places around me.
I decided that I should try to get home before it started raining too hard... And before my mom freaked out and called the cops. And before the kids on my block realized that I wasn't home yet and started waiting at the corner of the street for me.
No, then my mom would definitely have to call the cops. I could almost see the news articles in my head... "Local teen boy, found beat up and crying on the corner of Pamlin and Lancer streets, attacked by teens from his neighborhood. No weapons were found at the scene of the crime, so it is believed that it was a fistfight gone completely bad. Boy suffers from both severe physical and emotional damage."
I could almost see myself laying on the street corner, black-eyed and bloody-nosed, sobbing and screaming and hurting more on the inside than out.
It was a fairly easy image to conjure, considering it had happened before. I'd never made news headlines, but I figured eventually I would...
I mean, one day they would beat me to the point of death, and then of course people would have to notice, right?
No one ever cares unless you're famous or dead.
One day I think I'll just stop fighting back. One day I'll have enough of the kids who beat me up and I'll just let it happen.
I stood up and left Sandra's tip on the counter as well as the money for my soup, nodded a quick goodbye, and then headed out the door, ready for the dreaded walk home.
