Circus of Longing written by daydreamingatnight19
i. COVER & TITLE
I like the colours and the font of your cover, but there isn't much else to look at beyond that. The leaf-life design is cool, but there's a lot of empty space, and your subtitle is really small. The rule with covers usually is to either make the writing big enough to cover the whole cover, or add in some sort of object-based design. I would recommend sending your current colour scheme to a designer and sorting out a plan to make your cover a little deeper. I have a reading list of designers who are very talented.
As for your title, it could not be more perfect. I love the mysterious nature behind it and the whole 'circus' theme that keeps making an appearence.
ii. BLURB
I like how short your blurb is, and it does tell us everything we need to know. The only problem is that it has a few grammatical errors that, if fixed, will make the blurb flow much better. Here's how I would rewrite it:
Snow...spark...silk...and dark.
It just needs these four things to bring magic.
Park Da Som is a laid-back girl who hates studying and loves stealing glances at a University student working at a part-time library in her hometown. But a seemingly innocent wish lands her in a strange circus and gets her entangled with the mysterious Kim Bong.
So I fixed five or six errors up there and changed around a few words just to make the blurb a little more concise. But the bones of the original blurb work very well, I think.
1 0 / 1 5
i. COMMAS
You have some persistent comma issues. First, let's clear up the following terms:
YOU ARE READING
Dreamland Review Archive
RandomDreamland Community's review archive, open to view different reviewers past works :D If you are looking to request a review, please head over to Dreamland Reviews!