Rose & Guns (T)

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Roses & Guns written by KalsiWrites

Roses & Guns written by KalsiWrites

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i. COVER & TITLE

Your cover is beautiful, representative of the story and has a unique aspect to it. It looks very professional. Moving on.

Your title is pretty unique, and I like the contrast. I like that you switch the order around so no one gets it mixed up with guns and roses--it also puts a spin on a phrase we've heard before. From first impression, I get the sense that this is a sort of mafia-type mystery and after reading the blurb, that ended up being the impression I stayed with. No problems here. This review is boring so far. It gets better.


ii. BLURB

I found your blurb easy to work with--there's a lot of good things in there. The problem is, as good as your blurb is, it's not exceptional. I read it and I go, that seems interesting. But I didn't go wow, that was exciting; I need to start it now.

So how do we get it to that place? The general formula for great blurbs is to start with a startling, exciting one-liner. These are usually something just confusing enough to pique interest. Next, it's important to end with a similar one-liner, something that connects to the title or the end of the blurb. Here's my suggestion:

She has one motive, and one motive only: revenge.

That's the reason Anastasia came back to Manham. But even with her sights set on vengeance, Theo and his friends still insist on forcing their way into her life. As for Theo, he fell in love with her the moment he saw her--even though he knows that kind of thing is rather dangerous.

But Ashton--Ashton didn't come for love or revenge. He just wanted to crash a party and dig up some dirt. But he, too, finds his life being turned upside down. 

The problem with beauty? It can come in the form of a rose or a gun.

That's my fun little one-liners that I came up with, but maybe you can do better. But that's the idea I think you should go with.


iii. HOOK

Hooks are drastically important. They tell your reader if you're a good writer or a bad one. Here's my problem with your hook: You're an excellent writer, but your hook doesn't showcase that enough. Here's your current hook:

'As pale as a ghost, she was standing away from what I assumed was the rest of her family. I had been watching her for a while now.'

I don't have any problem with the actual words you have here, but I think you should rearrange them to make them a little more impactful. Watch what happens we switch it up so the more impactful line is the starting one:

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