MAGNETIC [H.S.]

24. how dark is dark?

this one is gonna feel a little different, it's gonna read a little different, but it'll make sense at the end.

This was hell.

I couldn't shake it, the feelings of dread, anger, and guilt were gnawing at my insides. My brain would not shut the fuck up. I laid in bed, holding her while she slept silently and happily, and my brain ran an endless string of "you're lying to her, she's gonna find out, her dad is gonna find her, she's gonna leave again and it'll be your fault, she's gonna hate you, you're a liar, you're a monster, you killed those kids, you're basically a murderer..."

Over and over again the thoughts assaulted any shred of comfort I dared to take from her. She was incredible tonight, I knew she was trying to distract me, and it worked. The whole time that I was focused on her, I didn't have enough space in my head to panic. But, I couldn't fuck her forever. So, here I am, my fingers traced mindlessly over her skin, running the same circles that were going on in my head.

I had no idea how tomorrow was going to go. I had to talk to her father, and he wasn't going to like it. The boys weren't going to like it either, but it had to be done. I couldn't keep doing this, I wouldn't survive it.

If I made it past Jameson Payne, we also had the crooked dealers to fucking take care of, and chances are that was ending with at least one body bag. The most I could do was hope that one of the boys wasn't in it.

Ashton bought our story at least, that was a slight relief. She knew how demanding our parents were, she knew that we wouldn't have an option regarding a party like that. Niall's presence was required, which meant that ours was too. We used the party as a cover for ambushing the dealers. Louis was doing some digging, talking to people who work the streets, and trying to figure out exactly where the drugs were being tampered with.

That was set to go down Sunday, which means that we actually had to see our parents on Saturday. I had to face my father, which was fine, he wouldn't speak to me anyway, but more importantly, I had to face James.

We all had to face James. Tell him why we were here, remain calm, act normal, and not let him know that we've had anything to do with Ashton. He cannot under any circumstances know that Ashton is here, or that we know where she is.

Keeping Ashton safe was my number one priority. Some shit never changes.

...

The four of us stood in suits and sweaters, coffee in our hands, in the parking lot of a Starbucks. I had to do it before we faced our parents, so it was a now or never situation.

"I, uh- I have to tell you guys something."

"If my sister is pregnant I'm gonna cut your fucking dick off." Liam piped up right away. Niall and Louis broke out into loud laughter, and Zayn kicked a rock and chuckled.