Come Here, Little One

The War Wages On

"How was your day darling?" Loki asks as he climbs into bed. "Just preachy. Got my whole list from this morning done. Yours?" You put down your book and prop your head up with your hand. Loki settles under the blankets and pulls you closer. "Ah look at you, getting things done. Such a natural born queen. My day was eventful but boring. So many meetings. Sorry for missing dinner." He sighs as he tucks some hair behind your ear. "Oh no worries I wasn't there either. Took mine in my study. You did eat though right?" "You really think I would skip a meal?" He laughs as you poke his stomach. "I see you frostgiants are always hungry huh." "Hungry for warm flesh." He growls as he attacks your neck with his teeth. "You're so sweet to me. Let's see if you taste sweet too." He playfully bites and sucks on your neck and shoulders causing you to laugh. "Oh stop you fiend. You're such a child Loki." You giggle as you try to push him off. He releases his lips with an audible pop and marvels at his work. "Ah that's a nice one. That will last for at least a week." You quickly notice the throbbing of your neck and get up to see the damage. In the mirror is a huge, almost tea cup saucer size hickey your dear husband left behind. "You fowl fiend! Look at the size of this! Such a retched man." You whine as you get back in bed. "Well you know what they say the bigger the hickey the more they love you. And I love you so much dearest wife." He coos with a kiss. "Sure you do." "Oh don't start with that. You know I do." "Yes I know Loki. I love you too. Now let's get some sleep." "Of course. Goodnight little one." "Goodnight my king."

Sleep comes quickly but you are plagued with nightmares. Before Loki became king war broke out against Asgard and the dark elves. Loki begged you not to fight but you wanted to. Asgard was your home and you would defend it with your life. Even though the war was won you still carried it with you everyday, with every scar, with every breath. Visions of the blood and screams of the fallen. Sometimes your mind tricked you into thinking blood was still on your hands. You would scrub and scrub but you still saw red. The memories of the pain you felt when an arrow lodged itself into your back. Your back would sting and ache without warning.

You sit up in bed screaming and crying. You were still living the nightmare when Loki tried to calm you. He tried to ground your flailing limbs but you elbowed him right in the mouth. His shout of discomfort brought you back to reality. You watch as he holds his bloody lip. You hide your face in your hands and cry. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." You repeat as you feel the bed shift, his weight disappearing. After a few minutes you feel something cold on your achy back causing you to hiss in pain. "Shhh my love it's ok. I'm here. You're safe." Loki coos as he uses his Jotun form to change his hand into essentially an ice pack. His other hand guides you to rest your head against his stomach. "Deep breathes (Y/N). That's right in and out. You're ok little one. I got you." Your breath slows but the tears still stream down for face and onto Loki's skin. "The nightmares again?" You nod your head against him as you wrap your arms around him, pulling him closer. "I should have listened to you. I shouldn't have fought. I'm sorry." "Oh my sweet girl. You did what you thought was right. You are not to blame for how you feel about the war. I'm sorry that you carry this. I'm sorry I can't take it from you." He says sitting down on the bed. He guides you into his lap just so he can hold you close. He rests his back against the headboard and pulls the blanket over both of you. "Want to try to sleep again?" "Not really. I'm afraid if I close my eyes the nightmares will start again." "Alright well we can just lay here and talk." He hums as his fingers rake through your hair. You both talk well into the morning about nothing really. "How's your back?" "Still hurts. Should I go to the healers?" "Yes I think it would be best."

You get dressed to head for the healers. "Hey wait for me my love." Loki says as he pulls on his pants. "You're coming with me?" "Of course. You're in pain. I'm not leaving till you feel better." As you walk through the halls of the palace you smell the faint scent of smoke. You don't see any or know where it's coming from. "Do you smell that?" "Smell what?" He asks as he stops and sniffs the air. "I smell smoke." He looks at you weird but softens when he realizes what's going on. Along with your nightmares and pain, your brain also tricks you into smelling things. The smoke smell is reminisce of the weapons the dark elves used to create black holes that consumed everything in their path. "No I don't smell smoke dear. Here would this help?" He pulls out one of his handkerchiefs and hands it to you. You are just about to bring it to your nose when you double over in pain. Sharp stabbing pain from your back causes you to cry out. You're on you hands and knees in the middle of the hall just trying to breathe through the pain. Loki turns his hand cold again and gently places it on your injury. "Is this helping?" You can only groan and nod your head. With all the commotion palace guards came to your aid. "Get some healers and a wheelchair for the queen."

You're helped onto an exam table so the healers can get a better look at you. "Your back again my queen?" One asks and you nod. They gently feel around your scar and try to decide what's the best treatment. "You're due for an injection, would you want that today?" A healer asks and Loki looks concerned. "Injection of what exactly?" "Just a numbing agent she gets monthly for her pain." "May we have a moment alone?" He asks using a tone you're unfamiliar with. "Of course my king." The healers leave the room and he stands in front of you. "(Y/N) my darling, why haven't you told me about these?" "I didn't want you to worry. Are you mad?" You whimper as you try to sit up and look at him. "No no. I just wish I could have been here to help before. How many have you had already?" "This will be my fourth. It seems that time heals all wounds isn't exactly correct." You laugh but cling to his shoulders as the pain hits you. "What you you mean?" "My nerves are damaged, they are only sending pain signals, and the older I get the worse it will become until the nerves eventually die." "My gods that sounds like agony. I'm so sorry darling." He hugs you tight and leaves kisses on your cheek.

He lets the healers back in so they can start to help you feel better. "You might want to leave the room. I know you don't like needles." You say as they start to clean your skin. "Not a change. I'm here to help you." You nod and lean against him. You hook your arms around his shoulders and bury your face in his neck. "Alright big pinch my queen." A healer inserts the large needle into your skin. Your hiss is muffled in Loki's neck as your nails dig into his flesh. You can feel the numbing agent spreading under your skin. It's cold at first then warms to your body temperature. You can feel the needle being pulled out and Loki tenses. "Yeah it's a big one." You mumble knowing he saw it and how he feels about them. "Braver than I for sure."

Loki helps you back into bed and you're surprised he gets in too. "You're staying?" "Of course. You are not feeling good and it's my job to take care of you. What kind of a king would I be if I left my queen when she was in need. Now just rest little one." He coos with a kiss. You smile and cuddle into him. "I'm such a lucky woman." "And brave and strong and beautiful and intelligent and and and." You both laugh and sigh sinking deeper into the push bed. "You know you can always talk to me about it. I was right there with you. I know what happened and how it can take a toll on the mind." You nod against his chest and he holds you tighter. "Do you have nightmares like me?" "Yes sometimes." "How do you deal with it?" "Well in the moment I wake up and read a book or cuddle closer to you. It gets my mind off of it. I tend to justify those thoughts and feelings with the good of Asgard and it's people. We need to find a good way for you to cope and process. It will come in time little one." He kisses the top of your head and plays with your hair. "Thank you Loki. I love you." "I love you more darling. Hows your back." "Fine. It's all numb now. You can touch it." His hands rest on your back and he gently rubs up and down. You feel his hands travel lower and lower. "Excuse me sir I can feel that." You laugh as he playfully squeezes a butt cheek. "I know but I also know you like it." You shake your head with a sigh and pull the blankets over both of you.