thirty-nine - you

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happiness.

╔═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╗

|"Yes. It's nice to meet you."

'Huh?'

What was that... just now? You blinked, trying to register what you'd felt in that hollow entity for a heart of yours.

As the faint sound of the school bell rang in the distance, your eyes flitted to the receding silhouette of the girl.

What was her name again?

Right. Machi. One way to describe waiting - waiting for something.

'I wonder if she's waiting for anything? '

And what went through you just now? That feeling - a wave if you would, washing over you entirely.

The feeling that reminded you of spring, welcoming... Yet, a certain tinge of something bittersweet still remained.

Have you been given a new start? Not exactly new, but not exactly old either. A start, without forgetting your past ordeals that have challenged you mentally and emotionally.

Was that happiness you just felt? All while talking to a girl whose name you hadn't known.

While your legs were on autopilot, your head wasn't. It was busy. Frantic, thinking about things you just did that you didn't know you could.

You had expected yourself to be emotionally exhausted. Departures after departures, sometimes people leaving you or the other way round. Was that not tiring enough?

Were you always this capable? You never knew you could feel such a fleeting rush of happiness, especially right after... that - whatever you went through. Thinking of this, you found that your feet had brought you to the place right outside your classroom.

The last time you had stepped into this very room, you were so emotionally unaware. All those feelings that had been brewed from the bottom of your heart, heavy and real, yet you didn't notice a thing. But now you were conscious of everything and anything... Was that good or bad? You still hadn't experienced enough of it to give a good judgement.

Concurrently, the classmates around you probably hadn't changed a single bit since the last time you stepped into this very room. They still had homework to do, concepts to learn, friends to have fun with...

'It feels as though everything and nothing has changed at the same time.'

╚═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╝

fleeting, and something i've yet to understand.

words: 384
published: 23/10/2021

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