Dead Man Walking | Rick Grimes

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"Hey, mi amor," I started, feeling moisture build up in my eyes, "Six long years, can you believe that?" I sniffed and felt my grip on the picture I always kept on me—One of Selena, Judith, Thaddeus, and Melody—tighten. It was recent, taken only three months ago with a camera Aaron had been able to fix. "I'm still here, still kicking and fighting the good fight, but that doesn't mean it's gotten any easier."

A shudder tore through me as I tried my hardest to keep my tears at bay, "You should see Thad; he's a replica of you. He's gotten really good using that slingshot Jerry got him, and he's caught on so quickly with the whole tracking thing. Selena and Siddiq are still going strong, which is surprising. It took me a while to come around, but they make a good match. Melody is growing so fast. Just yesterday, she asked me if I could show her how to use knives. You should've seen the fit she threw when I told her to wait at least another few months." I wiped the lone tear trickling down my face and smiled at the picture.

"Judith is out on a hunt right now with Rosita, Eugene, Aaron, and Laura." I couldn't help but smile at how brave my not-so-little girl has gotten, "She's a force to be reckoned with, Rick. I think she probably gets that from you." I brought my gaze up and sighed, my eyes studying the black marks that still tainted the damaged bridge, "I miss you every day, mi amor, but I'm still standing. I'm still raising our children and helping the communities grow and strive for greatness—well, most of them."

I raised a single hand, already hearing him scold me for not making amends with Hilltop, and felt a small smile spread across my lips, "Before you can yell at me, I know. It's been five long years since I last saw Maggie, and I swear to you that this is the year I make amends." I gazed up at the sky and felt the pang in my heart that always came when it was time to leave, "I gotta get going, but I'll be back next week. Maybe I'll bring the kids again." I stood up and folded my picture, placing it in my back pocket. "I love you, Rick Grimes." I kissed three fingers and pressed my hand against the marred edge of the bridge before turning on my heel.

As I approached her, my horse neighed, her long black mane blowing with the wind that brushed past us. Quickly, I mounted and set off towards home. The six years have gone by so fast—too fast. Tensions between Maggie and I haven't boiled over, and I don't know if that's due to my stubbornness or both of our unwillingness to bury the hatchet. Oceanside and the Kingdom are the only ones I still keep trading with in person while I send others to deal with the Hilltop, and once in a while, I take the kids to visit Carol and Ezekiel. I smiled slightly as I thought of my friends, wondering how they were doing. I haven't gone to the Kingdom in a while. Maybe that's something I can remedy after visiting Daryl—if I can find him, that is. After everything with Leah, he's stayed out there, continuing his long search for Rick. I couldn't bear to make him stop, knowing that his search kept his mind off everything.

I pulled on the reins and clicked my tongue, urging my horse to move faster. I'm anxious to get back home and see the kids. God, I can't believe how old they all are now. Selena is twenty-two, Judith is ten, Thad is seven, and Melody will be six in a few months. It was like yesterday—except for Selena—that they were all babies, and now... they're older and have a mind of their own. They're becoming more independent as the days pass by.

The other day, Thad told me he didn't need me to help him with knife work anymore—that he's got it. To say I cried is an understatement; I full-on bawled my eyes out. Soon enough, he will be going on expeditions like his older sister and taking care of himself. Melody is still my baby girl, though, but for how long? She's only eighteen months behind Thad, and girls mature much faster than boys. I say I have about another year of her being my baby girl until she starts wanting to be more independent, an idea that makes me want to cry.

I fingered the handle of my knife and sighed, wondering what kind of day would be thrown my way. It's nearing the close of the day, but there's still a lot that can be piled onto me. The council has taken massive loads off my shoulders, but that doesn't mean that my position in the community has been reduced to nothing. Gabriel deals with the major decisions—well, most of them—while I mainly deal with the day-to-day and dabble in the security protocols with Michonne. I thought I could take a step back and rest for a while with the council, but no. I guess that's the control freak in me or something. While we vote on important matters, I still have a heavy hand in saying what goes. For instance, I backed Michonne up on the motion of not allowing many new people into our community, basically forcing it into 'law.' After everything with Mary and Tracy, we couldn't risk allowing something like that to happen to us again. Gingerly, I touched the aged scar on my cheek and frowned, remembering that day vividly.