seraphic [h.s]

chapter twenty one.

I liked being alone. I loved being alone.

I wasn't quite sure why I enjoyed my own company so much, I just did. Painting all on my lonesome was my third favourite thing to ever do. Which was why I couldn't understand how at peace I felt as I painted with Harry, how he made me feel just as I normally would when I painted alone— if not better.

He seemed like a natural to me, the way his lip quivered slightly in concentration, the tiny huffs that would leave his lips when he'd mess something up. I felt grateful that out of all people, I was the one to see the hard shelled drummer of Hot Mess becoming frustrated over his own painting. Seeing the man who hardly ever smiled on stage try to mix his own concoction of colours that would satisfy him.

"Are you almost done? I think I'm ready to show." He piped up, setting down his brush and laying back on his hands. "Give me one second..." I drew out as I finished the last few things I'd needed, "okay, done."

A part of me almost didn't want to show Harry my canvas, it seemed as though I had forgotten that aspect and now that I knew he would actually see what I had spend time on, a wave of nausea ran through me. Though still, he watched me in anticipation, the curls on his head gently moving with the wind.

"You wanna go first Cherry? Or me?"

I nibbled on my bottom lip in thought, what did I want? I wasn't sure. Because looking at the real life replica of the man I'd drawn, seeing how I'd intricately included his tattoos and sweet locks, I was worried that this suddenly felt far too personal for me to have done.

On my canvas, a man stood— a man that could most definitely pass as being Harry because of the exact details I'd included— his chest open, heart in his hands as he knelt surrounded in space. Each planet not only revolved around the sun, but rather him. With the word I felt best represented him upon first glance, written over and over again.

"Pretty boy." He quietly read, as he studied my canvas that I had turned over in a flash, because I knew that if I had waited any longer, the thought of flinging it behind me and down the hill would have felt far more tempting.

I held it below my eyes so that he couldn't see the constant lip biting I endured while watching his response. His eyes fixated in all directions of the painted space, analysing and understanding the depth of a part of my mind that I had so freely handed to him. "Mhm, pretty boy. It's what comes to mind when I look at you," I stated, weary of the way his shy eyes focused on my words, "but it isn't all that you are. I think that... you have an entire universe inside of you, one that I'm beginning to see because you're letting me. I think- I think that deep down you want it be at your mercy— the universe— for it to finally see all things you've had to endure, and I also don't think you know just how much it's already been at your mercy from the very beginning." I shut myself up with a tight lipped grin, hoping I hadn't sounded stupid as I'd let myself talk away.

"Why are you so wise, hm?" He softly asked, eyes roaming over my face like he already had an answer.

But what he didn't know, was that the answer came loaded with baggage and a lonely life of never having anybody to turn to— I had to become wise all on my own. Because who else was there other than myself to help me navigate this life given to me? I needed a mother. I needed a father. I had both and yet it felt the same as if they hadn't even been there at all.

I shook my head, "Guess I'm just really good at reading people." He nodded, agreeing with my assumption as he let out a breath, "There's no way you're from here." Furrowing my brows, I asked him, "What do you mean?" Settling the canvas back down onto my knees.

"Nobody I've ever spoken to would willingly come out and say something with that much truth, not to my face anyway. It's like you're- you're from a made up world that teaches etiquette and grace, and how all sweet things in the world can make up one person. You see the world for what it isn't and then you try to see it all better. You just make everything better."