Assault With a Deadly Weapon || N.H / 1D

67.

Song recommendation: Sweet Disposition by the Temper Trap
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When they left me, I cried. I cried for my Mother, I cried for my Father, I cried for Adam, and Felicity, and Brielle. I cried for my love, and my self-chosen brother. I wasn't one who cried when things went wrong like this. Usually I'd go about my day, pushing it all to the back, filing it away so that those feelings would never again see the light of day. I wasn't that girl anymore. She was strong. She was brave. She was fearless.

Oh fearless Philly Carter, how dearly I miss you.

Before he left, Niall walked me up the wooden steps that led to the front door of his house. I could see the wisps of warm breath curling from his mouth as we stood out in the November air. The porch light was the only thing shining on his face, washing him in a tangerine coloured light. He looked down at me with his bottom lip dropped, as if he wanted to say something, but the words escaped him. He swallowed hard.

"Do you have your earpiece and camera?" I asked, void of emotion.

He nodded, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jacket, then looking up to the sky, probably wishing the stars would give him the answers. He believed in things like that, but that night there were no stars. Clouds had rolled in shortly after sunset, so the celestial patterns that Niall depended on so heavily ceased to exist. He bit on his bottom lip, squeezing his eyes tightly, making the tension on his face become prevalent.

"Ni-" I started, but I was cut off by his deep inhale. I paused, thinking maybe he'd found his words. He released his breath, then opened his eyes to look at me.

"Are you sure about this?" He asked quietly. So quietly that I could barely hear him over the distant sound of Manhattan traffic.

"Yes." I replied simply, because I had no other choice.

"I want to stay with you." He dropped his head, keeping his voice quiet. "I don't want to go back."

"I know." I lowered my eyes as well. I felt guilty, dropping out of the case, when I knew that Niall needed me. I would get in so much trouble if the case was compromised. I was doing the right thing, but the right thing felt so wrong.

"If I don't- if this is the last time I see you, I want you to go to Vienna alright?" His voice was low, and stable, which meant he was barely holding it together. "I know you've always wanted to go, and I'm supposed to be the one who takes you there, but if I can't... Please go without me."

"Niall you won't-"

"Promise me." He took my hands in his, grabbing my eyes and locking his gaze with mine. "Promise me you'll go Firefly."

I paused for a moment, looking into his desperate eyes, not being able to picture what Vienna would be like without him. Vienna meant nothing to me if Niall wasn't there. The thought of going alone shattered my heart. A flurry of emotions stormed through me like a blizzard. Sadness, anger, fear, resentment, shame. It all swirled inside me like someone had just shaken a snowglobe.

Amidst the storm, I threw my hands around Niall's neck, almost knocking him backwards. Luckily he caught himself on the side of the porch, stabilizing himself with one hand while the other wrapped around my waist. I kept my face buried in his chest, holding onto him like never before.

"I promise." I muttered.

He stopped breathing for a moment, thinking that if he did breathe, he'd cry. I knew he didn't like to cry. He pressed his lips to my forehead, then leaned his cheek on the top of my head. I listened for the beating of his heart through his clothing. It was fast, and he was scared.