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Alex pulled into the driveway but didn't turn the car off like he usually did. He didn't like to just sit in the car, especially not when it was cold out. Usually, we went inside right away and he let me play either in my room or the living room while he did his own thing.

He definitely wanted to talk.

And I was glad I was facing the other direction.

"This is about more than just the crib, isn't it?"

I tightened my grip on my bear. I didn't want to admit my fears and that I was afraid. I didn't like people seeing that side of me when they were so used to the side of me that was hard and cold.

"Ly, whatever it is, you can tell me."

There was no sense in hiding anything from him. He would make me sleep by myself if I didn't tell him. He wasn't stupid.

"I don't want to be alone. I'm afraid that if people leave me... they won't come back." Though my parents couldn't come back like I wanted, it still counted in my mind. And when Alex dropped me off at daycare and then never came back, that stuck with me. I couldn't forget how scared I was. I didn't want to go through that again if I could help it.

"Ly, you know that's not going to happen again. At school, Diane is just across the room. There are other kids sleeping in cribs right beside you."

"But I feel better when I'm not sleeping alone."

"You have your bear. Is he not enough?"

I sighed. He didn't understand. I was hoping he would at least hear me out. It didn't seem like he was going to. "I'm not making this up. I swear."

"Can you try it out tonight? If you can't handle it, you don't have to do it anymore."

"I'm not being a baby about this." I said softly.

"I know." Alex turned the car off then came around to my side. He opened the door and started unbuckling me from my car seat.

I hugged myself to him as he lifted me from the car. I didn't want him to think I was trying to act like a baby over where I slept. That wasn't it at all. I just wasn't ready to try it out.

---

I didn't fight bedtime like I expected myself to. I didn't complain when Alex laid me in my bed and tucked me in. I knew he wasn't going to budge and throwing a fit would only make me look bad.

I couldn't act like a baby unless I wanted to be treated like one. Maybe that applied to my sleeping arrangement as well.

I hated how quiet the room got when Alex was gone. I hated the way the shadows on the wall seemed to stare at me. I was trapped in my crib and the thought scared me. It was what made me stay awake during nap time at school. I knew my fears were irrational but I couldn't make them go away.

I pulled my blanket tighter around me and hid my face in my pillow. Growing up, I was always a firm believer in closing my eyes to make the bad things go away. If I was afraid of anything, I would shut my eyes and the feelings would disappear. Surely, they had to. Out of sight, out of mind, right?

If only it were that easy.

My fears seemed to follow me into my dreams.

Standing across the room from me were my parents. They looked just as I remembered them. Mom had wrinkles forming beside her eyes and her hair was starting to get gray. She wore a pink sweater that I always loved seeing her in.

I started to push myself to my feet, eager to get to them. I just wanted to be close to them again. But my legs wouldn't hold me up. Every time I tried to stand, I fell over.

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