phoenix ✦ k.takami (hawks)

Thirty Eight

Tell me every terrible thing you ever did, and let me love you anyway.

Track 39: Do You Still Love Me Like You Used To by Missio & The Wind and The Wave

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"I think it's about time we talk about your sex life, (Y/N)."

You had been sitting in the living room across from Inko and your feathers twitched unconsciously. She noticed, of course.

"Um, what about it?" You muttered softly, an unfamiliar pang in your chest that you quickly recognized as anxiety.

"Am I correct when I say that you haven't had intercourse since your attack?" Her voice was calm and gentle, but it didn't help your nerves. You nodded. "Why not?"

"Well, I guess I've just not been comfortable? Hawks hasn't pushed it on me or anything, he understands and he's very patient."

"I think you should go for it." She replied bluntly. "It's been almost a month now, and I'm not telling you to push yourself if you don't feel like your ready. But one of the first steps to feeling like yourself again is being intimate with somebody who makes you feel loved."

Inko never let you go down the wrong path. Her words were wisdom to your ears every time she spoke. Keigo was a great therapist, yes, but he wasn't a motherly figure such as Inko. He also wasn't a woman who specialized in sexual trauma cases.

"I don't know if I'm ready." You replied, unconsciously biting at your fingernails.

"Take the next step when you feel like it, okay? Don't push yourself, but do understand that Hawks might not make that move. I think he's waiting for you, (Y/N)."

You looked out the large window of the living room, lowering your hand to your other in your lap. Maybe it was time to step back up to the plate.

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Keigo could tell something was different when he came home, his feathers ruffling behind his back when he landed on the back patio. You weren't in the sunroom like usual, though he did spot Yoshio sprawled across a shelf he had attached to the back wall above the doorway. Momo was curled up on the chaise lounge with her nose tucked into her tail. He crouched down next to the kitten who was getting bigger everyday and rubbed the top of her head with a gloved finger. She lifted her green eyes and gave a small meow, immediately purring when she recognized who it was.

He smiled and stood up straight again, wondering where you could be in the house. His alarm wasn't going off, which meant you were okay. He wondered if he should've brought takeout home again, but was glad that he didn't when he found you cooking in the kitchen. "It smells good here."

You heard him come inside and take off his boots while you were slaving away over a pan of stir fry beef and vegetables, checking the rice in the boiling pot before turning the handle of the first pan towards the inside of the counter. You turned to grab some plates after you turned off both burners, thinking of how convenient it was that he arrived home just as dinner was finished. "Welcome home." You mused as he approached, facing him as he enveloped you in a hug.

You felt all the tension he held in his body seep away as he leaned into your touch, sighing heavily as he tucked his head into the side of your neck and inhaled your scent. "I missed you." He mumbled against your skin.

You ran a hand through his hair, the other coming to cup his cheek when he pulled away. "I missed you too." You met him for a gentle kiss and he smiled.