Dysphoric (DNF-ftmGeorge)

Part 11

George walked quickly to Sapnaps room, leaving Dream in his. He felt the hot salty tears trail down his face as he cupped his mouth with his sleeve to try and deafen the chocked hiccups that escaped him.

He didn't bother to knock, he just opened Sapnaps door and went inside, immediately closing it again, he didn't want to risk seeing Dreams face.
"George?" Karl's voice sounded.
More hics and coughs echoed through the room.
"Hey hey George what happened? Are you okay?" Quackity ran over to George, he placed a hand on his shoulder and tried to help support him. Karl also came over and tried to comfort George by rubbing patterns on his upper back.

"Guys I think I know what's going on. Can you please leave for a moment while I talk to George? I'll come and see you later, okay?" Sapnap asked calmly, you could hear the anxiety in his words.

The other two reluctantly left, giving George some encouraging words before they vacated to Karl's room.

George was looking at the ground the whole time, his legs felt weak as they shook. He couldn't stop the tears that left his blurry eyes.
He heard the sound of Sapnaps bed move as he stood, he heard his footsteps as he walked closer.
"Come here." The taller commanded kindly, his voice gentle and reassuring as he held his arms out, gesturing for the boy to come closer.
George immediately accepted his offer and cling onto his friend, sobbing quietly into his shirt so not to alarm anyone else in the house.

Sapnap was patient with his friend, he felt guilty. This happened only half an hour or so after he gave Dream that advice, he could only guess what must have happened.
Did he completely miss read George's feelings towards Dream?

He comforted George until he stopped crying, he was going to help George first, then go find Dream and help him too. He was probably heart broken.

"Come on" he led George to his bed and sat him down, Sapnap pulled up a chair and sat opposite him, "tell me what happened."

George sniffled, "dream confessed to me."

Sapnap nodded and hummed in acknowledgment, "I see. And then what happened?"

"I... I l-left." He choked.

"Do you not feel the same way?" Sapnap frowned, he felt it was his fault all of this was happening.

George shook his head, "I do. I r-really like h-him." He sniffled.

Sapnap raised an eyebrow, "so... why did you leave??" He questioned.

George looked up at the man opposite him and just shook his head, "I c-can't I can't tell him h-he'll hate me I can't-" he stopped himself, "he deserves so much better than me." He frowned.

Sapnap was more confused now, "what do you mean? He just told you he felt the same way you do, why would he hate you?"

George chuckled sadly, "that's not what I mean..." he wiped his tear stained cheeks.

"Then what is it?" Sapnap leaned foward in his chair, intrigued.

"Sapnap im..." he gulped, "I'm trans."

"You're-." Then it hit him. "Oh."

"Yeah..." George shuffled back on the bed, pulling his legs against his chest, "I'm sorry.."

"Nononononono George dont you dare ever apologise to me or anyone else for being who you are. I for one am very very proud of you. And I accept you completely." He praised.

George felt a small smile attack his face, "thanks. I'm really glad I finally told someone."

Sapnap returned the smile, "so... the box?"
"Binders."
"The appointment?"
"Gender councillor."
"The medication?"
"Testosterone."

"I see. It makes sense now why you didn't want to say what it was for now..." Sapnap stated, "so is that why you... like... walked out on Dream?" He didn't quite know how to put it.

George nodded, "He doesn't know. You're the first person I've told. I didn't want anyone to know because I was worried you guys would see me differently if you knew that I- that I wasn't-... that I wasn't a real male."

Sapnaps heart shattered at the boys words, "no George. Don't ever say that. You are a real boy. You were just born in the wrong body."

George sighed and nodded at the boys words.

"It must really suck." Sapnap added, "I can't imagine what it must feel like. To be in the wrong body."

"It does. I get a lot of dysphoria, especially recently. Dream was helping me through it even though he had know idea what was wrong." He laughed remembering the moments he felt happiest, "I haven't taken my binder off for a whole week, changing into a looser one whenever he stayed the night. He was always there for me no matter what and I..." he felt tears well up in his eyes once again, "I-I pushed him away... oh god I'm s-such a fucking idiot" George choked a groan-like laugh.
Sapnap didn't say anything, only listened as his friend vented all the feelings he had pent up inside.
"A-and I'm just so scared that when Dream finds out I'm n-not... that I'm... that I'm not physically male, that h-he'll hate me and see me differently and he won't like me anymore and I-I'll disappoint him and I just don't want to loose him, I really really like him sapnap." He was starting to spiral again.

"I know George. I know you like him, and I know that he likes you too, like, a lot. So much." He reassured him.

"But sapnap im. I'm me. I'm not even that interesting, I would only burden him, he deserves so much better t-than me." He stuttered.

"George-"

"I couldn't just lie to him sapnap, but I couldn't tell him the truth. He'll find someone better than me, he deserves that much. He's so sweet and kind and caring and handsome and smart and he's so considerate of other peoples feelings. I am jealous of whoever gets to call him their boyfriend." He continued.

Sapnap got up off his chair and sat on the bed next to George, he took his hands and held them, he looked into George's dark brown eyes as he spoke, "George," he started, "I know Dream, I've heard how he speaks to you, he's so painfully, obviously, madly inlove with you it's actually cringy sometimes," sapnap chuckled, "the dude likes you for you. And by you I mean all of you. You might just be thinking of your body, but I mean your personality too. Dream couldn't care less about your physical appearance, he likes YOU. He likes all of you." He reassured, "and plus he's bisexual, the guy literally likes both genders if that's any reassurance, he literally couldn't care less about what's in your pants." He added laughing.
George laughed a little.

Sapnap completely understood George's reaction to Dreams confession considering his situation, he didn't know much about the subject, but he had done a little bit of research on the LGBT community whilst he was questioning and knew the definition and had read a bit about it.
"And I don't care if he's my best friend, if he doesn't accept you I will not hesitate to stick his head in a blender." The taller smiled innocently, ruffling George's hair.

Sapnap got up off the bed and dusted himself off, "come with me, you need to go and sleep and take off that damn binder." He held out his hand for George to take, "I'll talk to Dream."

George gratefully took his hand and let him lead him back to his bedroom, "just so I know, I'm assuming you don't want me to tell Dream about you being trans right? That's probably something you want to tell him yourself?" Sapnap asked. George nodded, yes. Sapnap gave him a thumbs up before shutting the door behind him.

After he left, George immediately took off his binder, putting on his oversized hoodie before getting into bed and almost immediately falling asleep, he felt so guilty and so tired, he didn't want to be conscious anymore.
He could only wish what had happened was a dream.