Self-Inflicted

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"Punished." Jacob said the words as if they were twisting in his mouth.

"Yes, you speak of Leanne being punished, but what about you?" I mused, as I wanted to see how far he had gone to redeem himself.

"Punished? Haven't I not been punished enough?" He asked angrily.

"I don't know, have you? Aren't you responsible for your soulmate's pain just as much as Leanne? I mean, shouldn't you have looked into things before you so callously pointed the finger?" I asked.

"You aren't wrong." He agreed. "But I can tell you that my guilt that I have lived with for the past eight years is enough. I lost my son and despite loving him. I can't help but hate him as well. He shouldn't have existed. It should have been Louise's child that I had. Jacob replied.

"You are probably right. You make poor decisions." I stated.

"You have no sympathy for me, do you?" He asked.

"No, I don't." My voice was monotone, there was no emotion in my words. He didn't deserve my sympathy. Even as he told his account of what happened, it was all about him. He may live with guilt, but the only reason he was searching for me was because he wanted someone to ease his pain. Jacob was just as selfish now as he was all those years ago. I didn't have a problem with giving him a cold slap of reality. "Why would I feel sorry for someone who made poor decisions? Everything you are feeling, the pain, the anger, the sadness and let's not forget the guilt. Well, that's all self-inflicted. So why would I feel sorry for a person who has made poor judgements and made grave decisions?" My voice didn't waver for a moment. "You made your bed, you need to lay on it."

"Your a hard woman, Miss Romano." He responded.

"You have no choice in my business, Mr Warner. I despise people that decide without searching for the truth. You simply believed the wrong woman. Your nose was led by a pretty face. You're judgemental in all the wrong ways." I huffed out in contempt.

"Aren't you being judgemental now? Judging me for my past decisions?" He mused.

"Mr Warner, from what you have shared with me, I am basing my judgement on what I have seen and want I have heard from the man himself. My judgements are nothing but warranted." I sarcastically replied.

"I suppose you are right." Jacob agreed with a curt nod.

"Did anyone find out you were Louise's soulmate?" I asked.

"Yes, they did. The whole town did." He hung his head as he replied.

"God, what was their response?" I replied as I rubbed my temples. I wonder how my parents responded? God, if they found out before the pregnancy of Leanne, they would have hidden me away in a cupboard. I would never have seen sunlight. They would have been ashamed and mortified.

"Well, her parents found out first. I told them when her mother was in the hospital." He replied. "I wanted to be honest with them."

"Woah, were you trying to kill her mother? Doing it while she was in the hospital seems heartless, doesn't it?" I hummed.

"You could say that, her father cried, her mother she was emotionless. Her father accused me of ruining Louise's life. Her mother said that I had ruined both of her daughter's life." He sighed.

I sat there listening to my mate live with guilt. The pain in his voice was clear, but all I could think was that he deserved it. I refused to listen to my wolf to show mercy. Twisting the emerald on my ring on my finger. The one piece that was separating me from my mate. An ancient charm that a kind witch had given me. She saw me and pitied my broken state.

I had never met a witch before. I was terrified and homeless, wondering the forest with no sense of direction. Even without my wolf, I could sense this old lady was formidable. Power radiated from her bones, but her eyes were filled with pity. She took me into her arms while I sobbed about the state of my life. For the first time in my life, I found somewhere I could call home. That witch was the only person to show me mercy. She promised she would help me, that this was not the end of my story. It was only the beginning.

I wasn't used to people being nice to me; I couldn't help but ask why she wanted to help me. The old lady said that I resembled her sister. She couldn't save her, her voice was filled with so much regret and pain as she told me about her sister who fell in love with someone she shouldn't have. Apparently, they forbade witches and werewolves from being together. Active 2: The witch was worried about being caught in the crossfire, so she turned her sister away from her love interest, who was a werewolf. The old lady found out that her sister was tortured and murdered. The death of her sister haunted her everyday.

The old witch, Sarah, swore she would never let someone suffer the same fate as her sister, regardless of race. Sarah fixed me up with food and water, nursed me until I felt better. After years of neglect and maltreatment, she helped me get healthy. Sarah brewed ailments that would ease my heart and heat. Instead of withering in pain, there was simply a dull ache. She taught me not only how to survive, but how to live.

There I was, sitting at her dining room table. I smiled at the woman who felt like family. All I could do was thank for profusely for everything she had done for me. Sarah asked me what I wanted for the future. As I thought about her question. I wanted to live amongst the humans and leave behind the people that didn't care or love me. I told her the fear I felt at the thought my family would find me and I wouldn't be able to do anything but forgive them. My heart knew that they didn't deserve my forgiveness for all the years of torment they had caused me.

She then revealed a golden ring with a small black diamond at the front. Sarah explained she enchanted it. They would never find me as long as I wore it. She made me promise never to remove the ring and that it would keep her safe. Sarah gracefully placed the ring on my finger as I cried tears of happiness. The flicker of hope for something better grew inside me as I clung to her tightly. She promised that there was a better life for me and that I was too beautiful and young to waste away in the forest with an old lady. Sarah gave me some money and told me to make something beautiful in this world.

It was then when I asked what her sister's name was, and she said Loretta Romano. She said it with such a sad smile, one that was filled with guilt. The question left before I could think. I asked whether she would mind if I used her sister's name as my own. She smiled softly, tears welled in her eyes as she nodded. It was then that I gave her my promise that I would honour her sister, telling her to watch out for her name. Sarah was my hope and peace, Loretta was my chance for redemption.

However, as I twisted the ring on my finger. I thought about how fate had brought me in front of my mate. I wondered did he deserve the opportunity for redemption. The shaking of the lift interrupted my thoughts as it made its way up to the top floor. My question-and-answer time was over with my mate. 

Edited 08/08/2023

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