Secrets ❉ n.m

Chapter 19.

-NATE POV-

To say I was fucking pissed off would be putting it very very lightly. I wanted to rip Gilinsky's body apart piece by piece and feed it to my dog. Or even use his face as a new dart board.

Okay thats a bit much.

But that's how I felt. I've never been so angry in my life, I wanted to shoot someone. How dare he touch Alex like that, kiss her like and tell me they had sex. Bullshit. And the fact that it was infront of me..

I knew Alex wouldn't do that to me but then again she kissed him too. So it might as well be true. But I was going stir crazy! I spotted her alone in the girls locker room so I went in and closed the door behind me.

I sneaked up on her and pushed her against the locker. "Get off Nate." She said harshly but that made me push harder so that I was close to her body to feel her shivering with nerves. It made me smirk.

"Did you really fuck Gilinsky?" I asked bluntly.

She smirked. "Why? Jealous?"

"Fuck yes." I said truthfully. It was driving me crazy to know she was with another guy and not me. Its my fault for helping Sammy but its her fauly for wanting to keep it a secret from her brother.

"Y-yes we did. And it was amazing." She said but I sensed a lie. She forgets how much closer we've gotten during the past months. I may not be Jack Gilinsky but I was sort of her bestfriend too. Was.

"Better than me?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Oh I even forgot about that! It wasn't a memorable first with you. Nothing compared to Jack." She said smiling coldly.

I frowned, shocked. "I-I was your first Alex?"

I seemed to have hit a soft spot because she softened up. Her cold expression turned soft and she stopped fighting my grip. I swear she seemed to shut off, a few tears filled her brown eyes.

"Yeah you were my first everything. You were my first kiss, first time, first love." Her voice quivered like she wanted to cry but didn't show me how weak she is. She's stronger than I thought.

"Baby..." I sighed and leaned against her, I wanted nothing more than to hold her in my arms. I want her.

"Don't Nate. Its over now." She said pushing me off her. She slammed her locker door shut and walked towards the gym hall. Before she exited she turned to face me with tears in her eyes.

"For the record, Jack and I were just trying to get you worked up. We've never even kissed, I've never been with anyone else."

She walked out leaving me alone with the guilt eating me up.

-

I couldn't see any hope for Alex and I, she hates me for hurting her which I probably do deserve but then again what was i supposed to do?

Being with her and leaving Stacy meant telling Sammy the truth which Alex didn't want. I was literally torn between what I wanted and what I was forced to do. It pissed me off.

We had another dinner date with the girls tonight and I wasn't up for it. But it didn't help take my mind of Alex and what she said in the gym locker room.

I didn't know I was her first time let alone her first kiss. That was something big especially for her, because it's meant to be special and I kinda ruined it for her. "Nate?" Stacy said shaking my arm.

I looked up. They were all ready to leave and I was still sitting staring at the table, I shook my head and walked out. My heart felt heavy driving Sammy home after dropping the girls off. I didn't want to see Alex and hoped she would be asleep.

Sammy offered for me to stay over, so we sneaked in and it was quiet. I guessed that Alex was asleep and sighed in relief. I don't know how to face her yet.

-

"Wake up!" Sammy yelled. I opened my eyes and it was 7 am. School. Fuck.

"I'm up I'm up." I yelled and headed to the kitchen while he slipped on clothes. I felt really miserable and the first thing that came to mind is Alex. I groaned and walking into the kitchen.

My heart was pounding. Alex was in her pj shorts standing on tip toes reaching for a cup on the shelf - a high shelf. The sight was pretty hot and I tried not to stare at her ass but daayum.

I was feeling pretty sneaky today so I decided to help her. So I stood behind her and gripped her waist while getting the mug for her. "I've got it." I whispered in her ear making her shiver. I always did that to her.

She tensed up from the closeness of our bodies, I could tell she liked it because she flushed red. "Thanks." She muttered and walked to the other side of the counter.

Sammy walked in and glared at Alex and I like we did something wrong. "Alex put some proper clothes on!" He boomed at her.

Personally I don't mind her clothes right now but Sammy seemed to disagre.

Alex rolled her eyes and said, "Yes master."

She strutted out of the kitchen like she wanted me to stare after her. Which I did, gazing at what I'm missing right now.

"You can stop staring at my sisters ass now bro." Sammy said making us coffee. I looked and cleared my throat, feeling embarrassed that it was that obvious.

"No! Uhm nah. Thats...wrong..." I stuttered stupidly. Sammy just grinned and shook his head like I was crazy.

I don't know if I could take being away from Alex any longer.

-Alex POV-

I got to school and rushed to my locker before first period started. I don't want to be late for Biology. I noticed Sammy, Rachel, Nate and Stacy standing on the opposite side if the lockers. It still hurts seeing them together.

When I opened my locker, the hurt had disappeared and was replaced with a huge smile. Inside was a red rose and a small note attached to it. I took the rose out and opened the note.

Be my beautiful date tonight?
-Shawn M.

I felt arms snake around my waist and pull me into a hug. I recognized the curly brown hair immediately.

Shawn Mendes.

___________

Finally a longer chapter!