Loveless Beauty (Completed)

Chapter XXXII: Try Her

"Don't laugh," I groaned, into the pillow. More annoyed than relieved.

Who says that accepting some facts makes us feel lighter. Cause it hella hasn't made me. I just admitted to my roommate that I like my ex husband, maybe I was falling for him. Advice was unexpected. Least she could have done was to act solemnly. Instead she laughed it out loud, saying I am an idiot. I know, liking Gashmir was a mistake and admitting it openly a crime.

"Why not?! You joked, I laughed." She continued. Even when she knew I was serious. Throwing a glare her way I got up from my bed, looking into the mirror I tightened my ponytail. Walking to the door, I opened it and was about to leave the room when I heard Diya say, "Keya, don't be a fool. You know, you can't fall for Gashmir."

Her words irked me more than I knew it should. I closed the door, turned to her, rolling my eyes I said, "yeah, cause it's totally upto me."

Anyways, you don't choose whom you fall for. I don't know much about love. But I heard that you can't control it. A force that drives you crazy, makes you insane. Love, that's ridiculous.

Oh my God, where does that L-word come from?! Huh!

Diya sighed, sounding sincere this time, "But you can't K. You__ you will regret in future." And somewhat hesitant. Diya and hesitancy?! Well that's something interesting. I walked back to my bed, fell on my back, arms wide open. I stared at my room's blank ceiling.

Can I?! Cease my already heightened feelings. Albeit I knew he wouldn't be reciprocating it, I had developed these feelings. How do I stop these grown feelings now?! Would it be that easy?! And what if I don't want to stop this?! 

Frustrated, I replied, "Whatever."

Diya didn't say anything to aggravate me further. Silence engulfed the room as we both decided not to talk. I kept glaring at the ceiling, cursing what life did to me. Not a single good thing happened to me. How much patience will I have to endure before it all falls apart?! When will this waiting end?! When will the day come when I will say that everything is right. 

Diya broke the silence and thankgod that she did. Otherwise I have no clue what I would have done. But what she revealed in a slightest way was unexpected, "You know, I regret doing many things. I made more than a dozen mistakes that I can't change even if I wanted to. I badly hurt someone close to me. I almost lost that person because of my insanity. And I hate myself for that. But what's done is done."

I let her speak, not interrupting, cause it was her first time she was sharing something, "Though I am a changed person now. But does it ever matter?! No. Cause you can't do anything once the damage is done. So think twice before you act."

"And as for Gashmir," she took a pause as if thinking whether to speak what's on her mind or not. Sighing, she shook her head, with a sad look she said, "just avoid him as much as you can."

The way she said it she sounded like a obsessed girlfriend who was trying to keep girls away from her boyfriend. Why do I think she knew Gashmir way before?! Was Gashmir the person she was talking about earlier that she almost lost?! My eyes widened at sudden realization. Is it?!